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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Weekend away

15 replies

Kelliesmile · 22/01/2023 12:09

Our wedding anniversary is coming up and we have booked a weekend away as we always do. I payed the £100 deposit and my hubby was to pay the remaining upon arrival. Here is where the issue starts, he quit his job before Xmas for no reason other than he didn't like the new manager, and hasn't looked for any other work since! He has no savings and no income so therefore no funds to pay the remaining monies for our break away. I am now also picking up extra shifts at work and doing overtime to just keep a roof over our heads and pay the bills. I am now in the situation that if I pay the remaining balance, fuel to get there and back plus food for us both then that will leave us skint for another month or do I just cancel and loose the deposit i payed? I was really looking forward to this break and gutted it has come to this. My hubby just said oh well it can't be helped. But it can be helped, he shouldn't of quit his job until getting another and should be looking for work in my opinion. All of this is nothing new for him, he has a job then quits after a few months because he doesn't like someone or the job it's self then sits around for months until he gets bored and then looks and finds another job. I have hardly slept last nigt thinking about our relationship, I want to do things like go to the cinema, have a meal out, a weekend away now and again, go abroad but I will not be able to do these things with him unless I pay for the both of us which is impossible on a minimum wage job! I'm just at a loss of what to do and where this marriage is going in the long run

OP posts:
mindutopia · 22/01/2023 12:14

Yes, I would cancel it. I assume if the deposit is £100, the total cost is more like £300-400. That’s a lot of money. But it’s natural consequences. If you don’t work, you don’t have money for luxuries. It’s that simple.

boobot1 · 22/01/2023 12:15

He's a selfish, lazy, immature arsehole. My advise is to find someone who values you and pulls their weight. Do not have children with him.

Kelliesmile · 22/01/2023 12:20

We don't have any children together but 5 between us. Only 1 of them lives with us but she is 20 years old and works full time.

OP posts:
Shoxfordian · 22/01/2023 12:31

He’s a loser and he always has been by the sounds of it- why waste any more of your time?

Zanatdy · 22/01/2023 12:31

Totally unacceptable he quits his job and expects you to pick up extra work to keep a roof over your head. I’d definitely be cancelling the weekend away as I wouldn’t want to go with someone who treated me like that anyway

AnotherCountryMummy · 22/01/2023 12:33

Kindly, are you sure he quit? I had a DP like this once. But turns out he was a seriel liar and kept getting fired and hiding it from me.

Sorry this has happened 😔

mrsbyers · 22/01/2023 12:35

Ask your daughter if she fancies going , pay for it between you and act as if you are still going with your husband then on the day just leave him and go and enjoy it with someone who respects you

Arrivederla · 22/01/2023 12:35

mrsbyers · 22/01/2023 12:35

Ask your daughter if she fancies going , pay for it between you and act as if you are still going with your husband then on the day just leave him and go and enjoy it with someone who respects you

Brilliant!

perfectcolourfound · 22/01/2023 12:57

I would also question if he quit the job or did he get fired....

Either way, he's bad news. He thinks you shoudl work more hours so he doesn't have to work. Utterly selfish, lazy and immature.

I agree with pp - how about taking your daughter and sharing the costs with her?

evemillbank · 22/01/2023 13:29

I wouldn't feel like funding a weekend away for him. He needs to get a job. Lazy arse

NoSquirrels · 22/01/2023 13:32

He’s a cocklodger and you deserve better.

If you haven’t been married long I’d consider divorce as soon as possible because the longer you’re married the more he’ll be entitled to of your assets.

Justmuddlingalong · 22/01/2023 13:32

I'd cancel. I'd much rather lose the deposit and be disappointed that I wasn't going than feel like a mug for treating a sponging prick.

Oblomov22 · 22/01/2023 13:46

What a loser. Why don't you have enough self respect to realise this is not ok?

AnneLovesGilbert · 22/01/2023 13:52

I’d take someone else. What’s to celebrate about this anniversary? You can’t make or sustain a team or a partnership on your own.

How much are you set to lose in a divorce? “It can’t be helped” would fuck me right off. And he shows no signs of changing for the better.

RockGirl · 22/01/2023 19:05

Leave him. Why are you with this waster? Have the confidence and self-belief that you deserve better than this.

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