DH calling DD “your child”

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I cannot believe I just heard this come out of his mount but DH called DD “your child”. DD is our daughter. DH was having fight with DD which I needed to step into. This made him even more angry. DD is pre-schooler and DH is adult so I don’t expect him to behave like this no matter what she does “to him”. He acts like a victim and then starts to say “your child…. doing this to me…” I’m in complete shock. What is this?! Who says that?

This is totally normal in our family, "guess what your mother has gone and done now" or last night with the toddler "your grandchild is doing my bloody head in, your turn".
Sounds like there's more to it for you, hope your chat goes OK ❤️

i ve done it, my dh has done it, we usually use that expression when the child does something similar to the other partner.. like when the boy is stubborn like me, when the girl just doesn't listen like his father .. but never in a mean or passive aggressive way, their as much mine as they r his all of them and i dont get angry at him not him at me for it as we're both their parents ..
i think you need to work your issues with him as a partner and not compare what he does as a partner to you with what he does as a parent, two different roles

But the fact that he got angry and into a fight with a lil kid and after be a victim.. he is not very mature and he has to be always right and everyone stand the way he wants it which is not good in the longterm... he needs to loosen up as the fact that she doesnt want to go to bed when he wants its no reason to be a bully... but god it is frustrating when u are tired and they jump around at 1 am and at 4 am the toddler decides to wake up play and eat and eventually hit u over the head with something as u can't keep your eyes opened...

I thought it was just a "little" thing that's actually part of a bigger issue. I think you need to tackle the big picture because it doesn't sound healthy as you say.

So the actual problem is you’re with a man who is cold, hostile, angry, who fights with a small child and hates parenting?

What @ThePear said.

The fact that your DH can get on with colleagues doesn’t mean he knows how to get on with children, particularly small children. It’s a whole different skill set and it sounds like he desperately needs to learn about them.

Sorry you’re in this situation. My DH has been pretty good with our DD (now teenagers) but I did sometimes have to remind my DH not to expect our children to behave like adults (or specifically like middle-aged men) when they were growing up. Could you speak to your DH in a calm moment? You shouldn’t have to take over parenting. That’s not right.

Write a long response and now I’ve lost it. So but more shortly thank you all for your responses and comments. Will need to talk about the children and what can they understand and even do and what parents must do when they play up.

@Alexya good point about keeping the roles different. I think it will make the kids conversation more likely to be heard.

@ThePearcount your lucky starts if you know nothing about it

How many times do you read on here a woman describing the children as "my DC"? All the time. What's the difference?

I don’t think a chat with the abuser will be particularly fruitful, but good luck. I don’t understand what you mean when you tagged me. The hostile angry, child fighting man saying a phrase sounds like the least of your problems. That’s what my post meant.

If your DH is bullying a toddler this is very bad news.