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Original poster

Tips for getting sleep with husband in the bed

17 replies

killeraqueek · 20/01/2023 23:05

I am seriously struggling with insomnia while sleeping in the same bed as my husband. He works away about half the week in the winter and I sleep so well when he's not here. We have a super king bed but he moves about a lot and snores. I don't really blame him as I am a very light sleeper, I need pitch dark and ear plugs.
Since we had our baby 9 months ago I sleep with one ear plug so I can hear her in the other room but block out the other noises while getting to sleep.
When my husband is here I take phenergan sometimes which helps but the pharmacist is reluctant to give it to me as she says it's not a long term solution. But my doctor gives me unhelpful advice like cutting out meat and dairy from my diet.
I exercise as much as I can with a baby and I never have caffeine. We live in a two bedroom but i do fantasise about having a spare room to escape to

OP posts:
PousseyNotMoira · 20/01/2023 23:50

You’ve got two bedrooms. Sleep in the other one.

Velvetbee · 21/01/2023 00:16

Sofa or in with your baby. Broken sleep is a killer!

ItsAnOrgasmNotAFabergeEgg · 21/01/2023 00:25

Could you fit two small doubles in the space of your super king? Or a double and a single? I have two doubles as my ex was a terrible sleeping partner - flipping around like a landed salmon and snoring like a walrus. I’m a light sleeper but managed well once I had separate beds. Obvs we could still get into each others for a cuddle but then just roll over into our own to sleep. He was very offended when I first did it. But then it didn’t affect his sleep like it did mine. And he was rubbish at using any kind of anti snoring device etc

Needmoresleepmorecoffee · 21/01/2023 03:25

If separate rooms are an option then I would say that. If it's good enough for the queen and Prince Phillip it is good enough for you!

Orangesare · 21/01/2023 06:47

Separate beds or separate rooms there’s no point in struggling and not sleeping. You could always get a decent sofa bed

thisbathiscoldnow · 21/01/2023 06:50

Mine sleeps on the sofa in a sleeping bag for the exact same reason! 🤣

KangarooKenny · 21/01/2023 07:46

Separate bedrooms is the only answer.

SheWoreYellow · 21/01/2023 07:47

If you have a baby monitor then you can put the other earplug in and still here the baby.

SheWoreYellow · 21/01/2023 07:47

Hear!

FlowersFlowersEverywhere · 21/01/2023 07:48

Nasal strips for him to stop the snoring, have worked wonders with my DH.
Bolster pillow down the middle of the bed so it keeps him ‘on his side’?

Catonlapfireon · 21/01/2023 07:48

We sleep in different rooms because of this. I’m a super light sleeper and he’s very noisy and fidgets.

MeinKraft · 21/01/2023 07:50

Put a bed in the babies room and sleep in there. I always found I slept much better in a room with my children (can't properly relax when I don't know what they're up to!)

RaininSummer · 21/01/2023 07:56

Definitely sleep separately. I find it odd that adults are expected to share when children and we are told rich people are not. You can still cuddle etc but go off elsewhere to sleep.

Ylvamoon · 21/01/2023 08:05

I hear you! These are things we have done over the years... alternately nothing beats a spare room for decent sleep.

  • Share with baby,
  • super king bed and single quilts
  • sofabed
  • camp bed (wide fishing chair bed ) with memory foam toper in living room soo much better than any sofabed and easy to store, plus extra guest bed....
  • 2 sigle beds
Poppygoestheweasel · 21/01/2023 09:31

Separate duvets as one suggestion. Scandinavians do it routinely I believe. Can you use white noise in earphones to block out the snoring. As per tinnitus sufferers.

Get his snoring sorted eg possible sleep apnoea, or eg if overweight?? Also consider cheese eaters my friends husband had to stop eating cheese as this caused dreadful snoring. He is only allowed it on special occasions now.

urrrgh46 · 21/01/2023 11:15

We started sleeping in separate rooms during a rough patch. i can't ever imagine going back to sharing again. i share with the toddler and she's a much easier sleeping partner. not noisy, doesn't bugger about with the duvet, doesn't rock the whole bed when turning over, doesn't wake me in the night if they wake up (she's sleeps through most nights). It is a bone of contention now though as Dh wants to share again and i'm like "not over my dead body!"

Original poster
killeraqueek · 21/01/2023 13:02

I feel like a normal person would cope fine with his sleeping but the slightest movement or noise disturbs me. It started fine but I think his new work pattern makes me realise how much better I sleep without him. I'm really worried suggesting separate beds sets a bad tone and we are pretty early in our married lives

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