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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Partner watching Andrew Tate

60 replies

MadameDe · 20/01/2023 14:16

A few weeks ago, I discovered that my partner had been watching Andrew Tate videos.

At the time, I didn't even know who he was and didn't care. I even watched a couple of his less offensive videos which basically sold the idea of getting up early in the morning and going to work which I thought was harmless.

Since then I've noticed him watching more of his stuff. Every new thing about the trial and every new video - all of it basically. Whilst he says he doesn't like what he says about women, he also says "he just wants to see what happens next" and "there's no evidence for him to be held".

I'm curious to know whether this kind of thing would be a problem for most women. I don't know why I feel so uncomfortable about it but I find it really odd that he's so interested.

OP posts:
Reugny · 21/01/2023 05:54

@daisychain01 hopeful the US want him seeing as he's a dual citizen.

OP if your bf is watching Tate next month (or worse due to how the algorithms work ) then time to dump him.

daretodenim · 21/01/2023 05:56

The issue from your post is that he says he doesn't agree with him in what he says about women AND that there's no reason for him to be detained.

The two are inextricably linked.

It is possible to watch people you don't agree with - I do that politically. What your BF is watching though, if he thinks there's no reason to detain him, is the hype of his minions. It's not only state videos, because he's detained! It may be entertaining, but he's basically getting deeper in the algorithm. Unless he starts to watch sm/YouTube videos critiquing Tate's behaviour and supporting the alleged victims of his alleged crimes too, then it's just one narrative. Over and over again.

I'd invite him to watch a former New Scotland Yard criminologist (and former head of the homicide department, I think) talk about the case, you know, if he finds it entertaining. I'd watch it with him too. Then ask him again if Tate shouldn't be detained. And watch his reaction.

Noicant · 21/01/2023 06:54

I read stuff and watch stuff that I don’t agree with. I mean the reality is he may genuinely take some of the stuff like “get up go to work” useful. It is possible to take bits and pieces of someones views without agreeing with everything they say/do but this guy isn’t just dismissive of women he approves of violence and control of women.

The bit I’d be really wary about is if he believes there is no reason Tate is being held by the police. He’s been accused of human trafficking and sexual abuse. Thats pretty fucking serious. Your boyfriend is veering into uncritical fanboy territory.

Zanatdy · 21/01/2023 07:40

It would be a massive issue for me, no way I’d want my partner watching that misogynist bullshit. There’s nothing to watch about what happens next. He’s been remanded in custody for another month, so if he keeps watching now then it’s nothing to do with what happens next, he’s clearly just into the guy. Dealbreaker for me, 100%

Kickmedia · 19/02/2023 06:28

I'm a fan of Andrew Tate and his brother Tristan but as with anyone we don't share all points of view. He isn't monogamous and he won't give you a great deal of time because he works and travels and probably likes variety. He has webcam girls making money for himself and for them. They probably make more than the average only fan girls although I don't see how doing that is good for anyone. There's a few other things that don't sit well with me but on the whole he's great for men who want to become their masculine selves in a world that seems intent to feminist men. Talk to your boyfriend and ask what he likes and doesn't. I don't believe he should be held in custody, what has he done wrong? Even the 2 witness girls and ex girlfriend said he's done nothing wrong.

Jimboscott0115 · 19/02/2023 07:33

Kickmedia · 19/02/2023 06:28

I'm a fan of Andrew Tate and his brother Tristan but as with anyone we don't share all points of view. He isn't monogamous and he won't give you a great deal of time because he works and travels and probably likes variety. He has webcam girls making money for himself and for them. They probably make more than the average only fan girls although I don't see how doing that is good for anyone. There's a few other things that don't sit well with me but on the whole he's great for men who want to become their masculine selves in a world that seems intent to feminist men. Talk to your boyfriend and ask what he likes and doesn't. I don't believe he should be held in custody, what has he done wrong? Even the 2 witness girls and ex girlfriend said he's done nothing wrong.

Andrew Tate is a weak man's idea of what a strong man should be. He's not masculine, particularly intelligent or even charismatic.

That anyone would even listen to a man who had beliefs around rape and women that he does amazes me but then there's a lot of weak men in the world who I guess need some form of role model given how their own lives are going.

As for the webcam girls - you clearly don't have a clue about a) how little most people on onlyfans make or b) how little cam girls in these places are allowed to keep themselves - often ridiculously low amounts of money for doing some pretty grim stuff they don't have a say over.

Your post says a lot about you as a person and none of it good, I think the OP is very likely to find out the same for her partner too.

ItchyBillco · 19/02/2023 08:31

Kickmedia · 19/02/2023 06:28

I'm a fan of Andrew Tate and his brother Tristan but as with anyone we don't share all points of view. He isn't monogamous and he won't give you a great deal of time because he works and travels and probably likes variety. He has webcam girls making money for himself and for them. They probably make more than the average only fan girls although I don't see how doing that is good for anyone. There's a few other things that don't sit well with me but on the whole he's great for men who want to become their masculine selves in a world that seems intent to feminist men. Talk to your boyfriend and ask what he likes and doesn't. I don't believe he should be held in custody, what has he done wrong? Even the 2 witness girls and ex girlfriend said he's done nothing wrong.

Oh dear. It’s weak minds like this that get drawn in by rapist misogynists like Andrew Tate. Frightening.

Naunet · 19/02/2023 09:22

Kickmedia · 19/02/2023 06:28

I'm a fan of Andrew Tate and his brother Tristan but as with anyone we don't share all points of view. He isn't monogamous and he won't give you a great deal of time because he works and travels and probably likes variety. He has webcam girls making money for himself and for them. They probably make more than the average only fan girls although I don't see how doing that is good for anyone. There's a few other things that don't sit well with me but on the whole he's great for men who want to become their masculine selves in a world that seems intent to feminist men. Talk to your boyfriend and ask what he likes and doesn't. I don't believe he should be held in custody, what has he done wrong? Even the 2 witness girls and ex girlfriend said he's done nothing wrong.

Why have you posted on 2 old threads about this rapist today, telling us how great he is? Get help for your mental health and pick better heros.

Monzeitia · 19/02/2023 09:49

I wouldn’t care if my partner treats me with love and respect, I watched some of his stuff just for curiosity, I don’t agree with everything he said but I do also watch/read about others very controversial people, I would absolutely hate if my partner controls what I can read or watch, we do have some great conversations about it and we also disagree in a healthy way

SlouchingTowardsBethlehemAgain · 19/02/2023 13:52

Why would a man spend his spare time listening to an infamous misogynist unless he admired him?

Wherearemymarbles · 19/02/2023 14:16

It would be a problem for me. I’m male and scum like him just fuel the fire of toxic masculinity and typifies everything that is wrong with it.
Luckily my 16 yo son isn’t interested and he knows to call out any of his mates who think AT is someone to admire

KettrickenSmiled · 19/02/2023 14:20

MadameDe · 20/01/2023 15:21

He's really loving towards me. He's never hurt me, when he's with me he helps around the house, tells me he loves me and makes me feel happy.

Would I know by now if there was anything more to worry about?

Yes of course you'd know.

You'd know you're with a man who likes Andrew Tate, & has decided he knows more than the Romanian police force does about the evidence against him.

Why are you not more worried?
Why are you still with him?

EarthSight · 19/02/2023 15:18

I watch content I don't agree with sometimes, but I'd still be wary of this. This guy pretty much divides women into cattle who should be subservient, and whores who deserve to be abused.

Sadly, I think he appeals to the misogynistic side of many, many men.

Kickmedia · 19/02/2023 17:32

50 shades of gray and 365 Days. The former a best seller where a billionaire dominates a girl and the latter in a similar way. Dating girls I've noticed majority want a man to act like these guys. Chatting to many girls and guys I'm finding it the norm. The Tate's seem to embody this fantasy for girls. Money, status. They are with the hottest girls who are attracted to money status and looks. The problem is with both men who act like that and women who want that.

MrsTerryPratchett · 19/02/2023 17:42

Kickmedia · 19/02/2023 17:32

50 shades of gray and 365 Days. The former a best seller where a billionaire dominates a girl and the latter in a similar way. Dating girls I've noticed majority want a man to act like these guys. Chatting to many girls and guys I'm finding it the norm. The Tate's seem to embody this fantasy for girls. Money, status. They are with the hottest girls who are attracted to money status and looks. The problem is with both men who act like that and women who want that.

Fantasy and reality are different. I like Fast and Furious films. I don't drive like that to Tescos.

Kickmedia · 19/02/2023 18:16

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MrsTerryPratchett · 19/02/2023 18:48

Women. Not girls. Women.

Reugny · 19/02/2023 19:07

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So you are under 18 and/or date under 18 year olds?

discobrain · 19/02/2023 20:24

Kickmedia · 19/02/2023 06:28

I'm a fan of Andrew Tate and his brother Tristan but as with anyone we don't share all points of view. He isn't monogamous and he won't give you a great deal of time because he works and travels and probably likes variety. He has webcam girls making money for himself and for them. They probably make more than the average only fan girls although I don't see how doing that is good for anyone. There's a few other things that don't sit well with me but on the whole he's great for men who want to become their masculine selves in a world that seems intent to feminist men. Talk to your boyfriend and ask what he likes and doesn't. I don't believe he should be held in custody, what has he done wrong? Even the 2 witness girls and ex girlfriend said he's done nothing wrong.

What the actual fuck is wrong with you?

Furries · 20/02/2023 00:59

Fuck me, some very weird people have popped up on this thread.

I heard on the radio yesterday that one of his accusers has received a letter, via Tate’s lawyers, advising her that if she doesn’t drop the allegations then they will be suing her, and her family, for quarter of a billion. Surely that’s intimidating a witness?

I hope his stupid little potato head stays behind bars for a long time.

Opentooffers · 20/02/2023 01:52

So you don't live with him, good, keep it that way. Do you work yourself? I would be suspicious and be analysing what he says ( your BF, not Tate). Actually, I'd dump him on principle, but if you are not up for that yet, at least be wary. Don't find yourself overdoing and overproviding for him so that his life is more cosy at the expense of yourself putting the extra graft in. Watch his general attitude to women.
If he goes on about him, how boring would that get, like many obsessions really.

Uzername · 25/02/2023 08:14

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TicketBoo23 · 25/02/2023 08:38

MrsTerryPratchett · 19/02/2023 17:42

Fantasy and reality are different. I like Fast and Furious films. I don't drive like that to Tescos.

😂

TicketBoo23 · 25/02/2023 08:43

I hope his stupid little potato head stays behind bars for a long time.

Stupid little potato head who talks about when he seriously injured women, and is up for charges of sex abuse and trafficking.

Oh and he got publicly verbally spanked by a 20 yr old girl - twice.

He's lost the plot. He never had it. But he's really lost it. MH issues galore.

If you look into his upbringing at all, you can see the effects on his personality and MH of being built up and advertised by his Dad as a chess genius. Which he was not.

He needs a lot of psychological help but will be er be normal, the damage is done.

TicketBoo23 · 25/02/2023 08:44

*never be normal.

Anyone who listens to him and entertains him for a second longer than is necessary to ascertain his insanity, is also bonkers.

I'd worry about your bf. I don't think it's meaningless or ok that he follows this fruit loop. Deeply Misogynist and abusive fruitloop.