I separated from exH 6 months ago for a whole host of reasons. I've begun thinking about dating again, but a little nervous about meeting someone like my ex and not realising it until it's too late. This is what happened with exH- he was wonderful until the children came along and I suddenly became his live in nanny and maid whilst he pleased himself.
I was reminded yesterday about something he used to do and it caused an argument between us. I am still in the family home, which is up for sale and I spoke to him about some noises that the washing machine had been making, along with loud noises coming from my radiator upstairs. He is still responsible for the repairs on the house at the moment (an agreement we have) hence me telling him. He proceeded to joke about my noise sensitivity "has your noise sensitivity problem got worse? Hahaha"
I found myself feeling really triggered by it. It was always the way he showed affection, by using this child-like boy-banter with me and I never liked it. I then challenged him and said "this is gaslighting- you're telling me that I'm imagining noises because I'm "too sensitive" before you've even looked at the potential cause. I find this disrespectful."
He went on to tell me how I "escalate everything to an argument." And like I used to when we were together, I started questioning myself. I realise he's an arrogant man child who is incapable of genuine human love and affection, but I've noticed that a few of his friends also poke fun in their wives in a similar way. It's always like they're trying to take the higher ground somehow.
Is it me? Or are a lot of men like this? I'm all for a bit of banter now and then, but I don't see how making out I'm imagining things is particularly funny? I want to know, because if possible, I'll avoid any man like this in the future.