Where is the line in co-parenting?

[prettygreenteacup]

If I'm concerned about emotional responses from my children to choices my exH is making, is it appropriate/my place to raise it with him? I need wisdom as feel clueless. I want them to have a good relationship with their dad but his life is none of my business and I'm not sure he'd welcome me raising my concerns about how the kids are because of him?

I think I need to just say nothing and be here to pick up the pieces with the kids, don't I?

It depends what it is, really.

If he's putting them at risk or damaging them emotionally, then obviously you have to take steps.

If it's just difference in ways of parenting, there's a certain amount of mum's house, mum's rules, dad's house, dad's rules that you need to swallow.

Is it something like he's introducing a new partner to them?

Definitely need more information.

Is it just different parenting styles?

I'd be really interested in getting a sense of what you mean, as I am having similar sounding issues and would welcome reading any responses. It's very difficult, especially when you are seeing the emotional impact on your children.

New girlfriend?

More info required

Generally what happens at his home is his choice.

If it's dangerous then you need to speak out but if it's something like him introducing a new gf every other week or not brushing their teeth then there's nothing you can do.

No its not introducing the girlfriend, that happened already. But he is moving her and her 3yo DD in with him and my kids have known them 6 months. And we have 50/50 care so reality is they've been around them the equivalent of 3 months with a big gap over Christmas.
It's none of my business and I'm not interfering, but my DD4 has started refusing meals at his house and with childminder this week, and when she came back to me a couple of days ago she cried and said she missed me at the weekend and confessed she was really hungry. Now both DD4 and DD7 are acting as though they have separation anxiety and won't let me leave a room without reassuring them where I'm going etc.

My ex knows deep down he is rushing this; he asked me before Christmas as though for my approval of moving them in. Why seek validation if you're certain it's right?

But either way, I'm just upset seeing my kids react in these ways and I don't think I will say anything to him, because his relationship with them isn't my responsibility. But it's so hard watching them struggle because of his choices? And he's oblivious to it and acknowledges "You're better with the emotional stuff with them".

I don't know. I will be here to pick up the pieces with my girls. I just feel lacking in wisdom.