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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Is walking away now my only option.

12 replies

Peanut0423 · 19/01/2023 17:35

I'm so sorry for the long message here. I'm just at a loss. I met my now husband 5 years ago, we have been married 1 year. I have a 16 year old daughter from a previous relationship and we now have a 9 month old daughter together. A couple of red flags showed with his behaviour 6 months into our relationship. Things that were very normal in family life..he would see as abnormal. As time has gone on he has spoke of how he was emotionally and physically ( hitting etc ) abused throughout his childhood by his dad and his dad made his life hell. On the back of this he now suffers with borderline personality disorder. I try to support him as much as I can but I'm at my wits end and its tearing our little family apart. He will pick an argument with anything, pick away at people and won't stop until he gets a reaction. Everything can be fine, everyone happy and he will just find something that upsets the apple cart. If I try talking to him about anything it's a nightmare..he will bring 15 other things into the conversation, bring up things from 4 years ago, things I've already had to explain a hundred times over and then start having little digs and sarcastic comments and this carries on until it turns into an argument and its exhausting. At the end I do end up shouting because I'm beyond my limit and struggling so I then get accused of being a lunatic and that I can't hold an adult conversation. He lacks any sort of empathy but he demands so much from us if hes unwell or a lot on etc. He shows very little affection and our entire relationship he has always put himself first. If I try talking to him at all about how I feel then again...its an argument. I just want to scream to get my voice heard. I've just been on maternity leave for 9 month where I lost £900 per month of pay whilst on stat maternity pay so he has picked up the majority of the household bills so this is also constantly thrown in my face. He will bother with my eldest daughter who isn't his but he has made her life unpleasant at times with his behaviour which again has caused arguments. He is now saying after 5 years that he has struggled to step parent and that is now my fault as I never gave him a break from her. My view point on this is firstly he has never once spoke to me to say hes struggled and to be fair on her she has made it as easy as possible for him. Shes a good kid and not really any bother. At times we have moved out due to his behaviour but I gave up my house to move in with him and have no family here so during the week when she is at school I have nowhere to go. Secondly he knew the deal when he met me that I had her full time. Thirdly he has had plenty of breaks from her as hes hardly at home due to his work, because of her age she does her own things and spends time at her grandmas etc so we've had plenty of weekends away, nights out, nights in front of tv on our own. I have also said that if he felt so strongly about this why didn't he speak to me or him have some time away from the house himself to which he replied.. it's his house so why should he leave for a bit...we should. When he speaks to people too...he will cover up what is really going on with his behaviour and blames me and my eldest so I have got some of his friends and family involved and hes now started CBT therapy but he shows no remorse at all for his behaviour. This now is taking a toll on my mental health and I have 2 kids to think of. I know its cliche but he has times where he is good but I'm thinking all he has been round just has too much affect on how he is today. I'm also upset because I know if j leave then I'll only see my youngest half of the time and I didn't have a baby to be treated how I am and then top it off with not seeing her full time. I just feel so stuck x

OP posts:
Parrotid · 19/01/2023 17:38

Why will you only see the baby half the time? You think this prince of a man is going to keep to a 50/50 arrangement, assuming you even agreed to that??

Nimbostratus100 · 19/01/2023 17:42

wow. I am so sorry you are in this situation. It sounds liek a nightmare. |Sorry, that is not a very constructive comment, I know, just sending you sympathy

Peanut0423 · 19/01/2023 17:43

@Parrotid the thing is. He dotes on the little one. He did expect me to do a lot at the beginning and saw certain things as 'my job' so he would not be one of those dads that if I left he would not bother with her. I think as she grows up he would probably show some of the behaviours he has shown my eldest.

OP posts:
perfectcolourfound · 19/01/2023 17:43

Yes it is your only option. It will make your life much much better.

I couldn't like, respect or fancy someone who didn't like my child. I couldn't put my child through having to live with someone with such disdain for them. Put your children first and leave this awful man. Your children deserve to be your priority. He doesn't deserve another day of your time or theirs.

Treacletoots · 19/01/2023 17:48

If this were your daughter OP, what would you advise them?

Please please protect your children from this horrible man who clearly doesn't care about any of you other than what he gets out of it for himself.

Yes you absolutely need to leave and you won't ever regret it when you do. Be strong.

Peanut0423 · 19/01/2023 17:48

@perfectcolourfound I have told him that I've lost all respect for him and exactly what his behaviour has caused. I just felt so torn as I feel like my only option is to take one daughter away whilst I lose seeing the other full time. Thank you for your words

OP posts:
LadyOfTheCanyon · 19/01/2023 17:52

Put bluntly, he needs therapy and you need to leave.

Peanut0423 · 19/01/2023 17:53

@Treacletoots thank you. I have said this ti him that his daughter and step daughter will grow up not wanting anyone like their dad. I can take my eldest away but how my youngest when he has a right to see her?

OP posts:
Watchkeys · 19/01/2023 17:55

I think it's important to recognise what staying in this relationship will do to your daughters. It's not favourable to stay and show them that staying in a horrible relationship is the way forward. It's favourable to show them that leaving is an option.

When they are adults, they will follow your example. Play the long game.

Peanut0423 · 19/01/2023 17:59

@Watchkeys Thank you. I want to prioritise them both. My eldest had been brought up in a loving environment until all this and that's how I want it going forward...looks like it will be without him. I feel like even if my youngest still has time with him then at least when shes back with me she will have a stable loving environment. He his also shit at showing love as he did not have any as a child

OP posts:
Zanatdy · 19/01/2023 18:05

Seriously leave. I spent too long trying to save my relationship which had similar issues then my ex started on my son. Since admitted he did it as he knew it was the only way he could hurt me, who even does that? Massively regret not leaving earlier and saving my son that. He won’t change, they never do

Watchkeys · 19/01/2023 18:08

Yes, they can have him being rubbish as half of their lives. They just need an example of someone living well, with self respect and an ability to change circumstances to their favour. Show them that. The rest of the world (and him) might show them other things, but don't let them grow up with no example of doing it right. I was them, and was well into my 40s, staying in rubbish relationships because I didn't realise that leaving was an option. I had counselling and got sorted out, but I wish my Mum had just left my dad when I was little.

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