I'm so sorry for the long message here. I'm just at a loss. I met my now husband 5 years ago, we have been married 1 year. I have a 16 year old daughter from a previous relationship and we now have a 9 month old daughter together. A couple of red flags showed with his behaviour 6 months into our relationship. Things that were very normal in family life..he would see as abnormal. As time has gone on he has spoke of how he was emotionally and physically ( hitting etc ) abused throughout his childhood by his dad and his dad made his life hell. On the back of this he now suffers with borderline personality disorder. I try to support him as much as I can but I'm at my wits end and its tearing our little family apart. He will pick an argument with anything, pick away at people and won't stop until he gets a reaction. Everything can be fine, everyone happy and he will just find something that upsets the apple cart. If I try talking to him about anything it's a nightmare..he will bring 15 other things into the conversation, bring up things from 4 years ago, things I've already had to explain a hundred times over and then start having little digs and sarcastic comments and this carries on until it turns into an argument and its exhausting. At the end I do end up shouting because I'm beyond my limit and struggling so I then get accused of being a lunatic and that I can't hold an adult conversation. He lacks any sort of empathy but he demands so much from us if hes unwell or a lot on etc. He shows very little affection and our entire relationship he has always put himself first. If I try talking to him at all about how I feel then again...its an argument. I just want to scream to get my voice heard. I've just been on maternity leave for 9 month where I lost £900 per month of pay whilst on stat maternity pay so he has picked up the majority of the household bills so this is also constantly thrown in my face. He will bother with my eldest daughter who isn't his but he has made her life unpleasant at times with his behaviour which again has caused arguments. He is now saying after 5 years that he has struggled to step parent and that is now my fault as I never gave him a break from her. My view point on this is firstly he has never once spoke to me to say hes struggled and to be fair on her she has made it as easy as possible for him. Shes a good kid and not really any bother. At times we have moved out due to his behaviour but I gave up my house to move in with him and have no family here so during the week when she is at school I have nowhere to go. Secondly he knew the deal when he met me that I had her full time. Thirdly he has had plenty of breaks from her as hes hardly at home due to his work, because of her age she does her own things and spends time at her grandmas etc so we've had plenty of weekends away, nights out, nights in front of tv on our own. I have also said that if he felt so strongly about this why didn't he speak to me or him have some time away from the house himself to which he replied.. it's his house so why should he leave for a bit...we should. When he speaks to people too...he will cover up what is really going on with his behaviour and blames me and my eldest so I have got some of his friends and family involved and hes now started CBT therapy but he shows no remorse at all for his behaviour. This now is taking a toll on my mental health and I have 2 kids to think of. I know its cliche but he has times where he is good but I'm thinking all he has been round just has too much affect on how he is today. I'm also upset because I know if j leave then I'll only see my youngest half of the time and I didn't have a baby to be treated how I am and then top it off with not seeing her full time. I just feel so stuck x