i there, posting this for some advice or other opinions as I can’t talk to anyone in my life ablit it. At times my partner can be very mean to me. Our relationship is complex and had an unusual start and a lot of the time he is stuck in the past and gets cross about stuff that has happened even though he did the same. He is going to therapy to work on stuff and is showing some improvement but then we have an evening like tonight and at this stage I am so upset about how he treats me.
found out this morn that we are having a miscarriage - scan showed no growth for two weeks. Naturally both very upset. I’ve been crying most of day and he has given me hugs etc and promised to be there for me. This evening decided to have a few glasses wine to ease the pain ( not the best idea but just needed it this eve ) and we started to watch a movie. Two hours in I paused it as I felt sad again and wanted a hug. When I paused it and looked at him he did a huge sigh and said I was just gettin lost in the movie ie can you stop annoying me. I felt so upset and just played movie for last half hour. After I decided to try speak to him about it and to explain that if he needed anything over the next while I would oblige happily and that I felt hurt by his response as I’ve been in pieces all day. He started shouting at me saying if you’re in pieces all day what did you have two glasses of wine for. And then shouted a bit more and used some bad language. Then he got up left room and almost took door off hinges he slammed it so hard. I went after him saying I am just trying to talk to you and he continued being what I would describe as quite mean. Started saying this is abuse you’re following me around. At that point I just came up to bed and he is still downstairs watching tv. I feel so let down by him and so alone. I should have known something like thsi would happen but everytime I believe he will supprt me the way I need him too and not do things like this but it has happened so often.
do you think I am over reacting or how should I handle it? I am going to my therapist tomorrow and tempted to bring it up but I have never really fully disclosed exactly how he can be and I’m scared to say it out loud. I’m it really sure why. Would really appreciate some advice on this or if anyone has been im a similar situ. Thanks