I've been with my boyfriend for around 5 years now, but at this point I'm struggling mentally as I really don't know if I'm overthinking things, especially as I was diagnosed with mental health issues during my late adult life. Here's the thing... Every weekend I drive 25 miles to pick her up, 25 miles to bring him back to mine to spend time with me, 25 miles back again for him to work beginning of the week and 25 miles back to mine. He does drive as both he and his mum use the same car, but at no point as he ever come down to see me. ( I do what I do to spend time with him as much as possible ).
When my Car broke down I asked if he would come down to me, he was less than forthcoming and it was put off to the point my car was fixed and it went back to me picking him up again. But something has happened recently which has really hit home. A friend of her family recently passed away and for someone living at home with his parent, does a small job and gets benefits at the time he was given around £130,000.
Visiting him again this time in the week, he promptly asked me if I could "DRIVE" her to a town down his way which was around 20 miles, so he could sell something. I said no I couldn't, as that would mean I'd have to drive a total of over 100 miles in one day and why he couldn't use his car. I asked if he would pay for petrol and I'd happily do it, and all he said was I'd buy you lunch. Even his mum was a little put off by driving the car. I mean seriously what does it take for him to drive? And what's wrong with helping with petrol, is £130,000 not enough?
He ended up driving because he had to sell something and I put it to him why doesn't he get his own car! He'd have the freedom to drive anywhere he wouldn't have to quibble over who was using the car at the time and he'd be able to visit me on occasions of a weekend ( We'd take it in turns ). The result was a resounding "NO" because he's put all money into other accounts ( to make interest off within the year ) and ONLY has £12,000 in the bank.
I'm really struggling myself financially, every time I have savings it's gone on bills and repairs, I pay all those miles of driving because I care about him and want to see him, I drive around my area too when I pick him up, 90% of the time I pay for dinner. Even though he has on occasions in the past asked if I wanted money towards something ( never petrol ) I'd say NO. Yet if I said the same to him, say he bought lunch or dinnershe'd say oh just give me such and such money.
Anything he does buy I'm always waiting for the just give me some money.
In fact there was one point he saw something really nice on Ebay and said would you like this? I said yes that looks cool, he said ok you can pay me back the £3 later. I've even been told I should GET another job if I'm struggling. While he was doing a small job, living with parent(s), making money off commissions at times and on benefits ( medical reasons ).
I have around £1000 in the bank, get around £500- £700 a month and that's to go on such things as council tax, electric bills, food, water bills, internet, mobile phone, car bills and petrol. I spend around £30-40 a week on petrol. And can only afford to have the heating on at the weekends ( it costs around £11 a day by 7am in the morning . While he lives with parent(s), pays a little towards upkeep(?), has £130,000 or was it £12,000 now and is worried about spending any of it.
His dad was a I overheard him saying be careful of that "lady of yours" when you get the Money, yet I've NEVER asked for any of it, In fact even in the past before all this you'd hear me say I'll buy this I don't want your money. How can someone with £1000 in the bank be struggling as much as someone with £130,000 who lives at home with parent, I don't understand it :(. I'm really worried about our future together, I love him so so much.