One sided friendships

[Abba123]

I don’t know if I’m doing something wrong. I feel as if I must be because all my friendships go the same way.

I generally have a feeling that I care more than they do and then when they do something to prove it, they still seem to uphold this idea that they are actually being completely reasonable and it’s my problem.

Maybe it is, but I still feel hurt.

One friend was supposed to visit and I’d set up this huge Easter event for the kids and the day before she said she could only stay an hour because she forgot kids hair appointment but “less work for you”.

One friend (and daughter same age) was invited to my daughters birthday party, chatting on about it over weeks. All the time her daughter having a party the week before we’re not invited to but “it’ll save you the bother of travelling”.

I’ve never complained about anything.

I feel like I was important enough and that I’d never do that to them.

It feels like the friendships are over and they kind of try to smooth it over but I feel like I’ve been a fool all this time, because they’ve done it in so many subtle ways previously.

But like I said they act like they were doing me a favour…

Is this what friendship is and I’m just too precious and ungrateful?

I found that some people have really large circles of friends and spend an inordinate amount of time navigating the social aspects . So I actually don’t think it’s personal. It’s just how some people operate.
i on the other hand couldn’t cope with that level or amount of friendships so choose to have less closer friends. But to get there you do need to go through the process of meeting more people and then seeing who amongst them thinks likewise.

Yeah don't take it personally, I spend time wishing I had more bandwidth to reciprocate how lovely my friends are to me. I'm a single mum and work full time in a stressful job, juggle home, bringing kids up etc. I just have nothing left to give to my friends a lot of the time. I genuinely hope they know in their heart that if I could be a better friend, I would.

Leave people behind who don't treat you as you would like to be treated. That's boundaries, in a sentence. Other people's behaviour isn't about you.

Make sure that there is always one person who will treat you the way you want to be treated: yourself. That includes respecting yourself, rather than blaming yourself for other people's actions.