Co parenting

[Strawberriesandcreammm]

I’m due to have my baby this week, my partner has a daughter in a previous relationship she’s 4. He normally takes her to his mums in the afternoon and has her overnight there once a week. (We have a one bedded flat so it’s difficult for her to stay with us and have her own room.) I’m worried about him being away one night a week when I’m left with our newborn, equally I want him to spend time with his daughter but I’m struggling with the overnight part.. any suggestions?

Get a sofa bed so she can stay at yours? In all seriousness though, what the long term plan here? You’re having another child when you don’t have room for his current one, is this a temporary set up?

myself and my partner have only been together a year and abit and this flat was mine he used to live with his mum! We’ve been applying for houses since June 3 bedrooms but it’s really annoying as everything is snapped up so quickly! We have some viewings for a two bedroom in a fortnights time which we’re hoping to get it’s just for now really as I don’t want her to feel left out but equally get that she has her own space at her nannies which she prefers and her mum would prefer her not to stay without her own space so again respecting wishes of her also :-)

I think you’ll cope just fine with a newborn whilst he continues to keep his relationship with his first child to the routine they’ve always had.

What is it that you’re suggesting exactly? For your partner to not spend a single night with his first child? This situation shouldn’t have been allowed to happen in the first place. You’re not suited to house one child, let alone two. And he’s had at least 9 months to get something in place. You’ll survive having to look after your child without him for one night a week. It’s really shit that he doesn’t have her more. Sounds like a bit of a shit father tbh getting two women pregnant with children he can’t look after.

No I’d like her to stay hence the suggestions, also you don’t know him so please don’t make comments on his parenting when you’re not aware of the circumstances!
she spends all weekend with us and one night at his mums! On her half term she is 99% of the time with us as we book stuff to go to play areas and little trips away!
thank you all for the massively nasty and sarcastic comments when I’ve quite literally stated we’re finding a three bedded house but are struggling currently with the housing market!

The routine has recently changed hence why I’d like her to stay here more so that she can bond with the baby and spend more time with her dad but the space is a problem currently until we find somewhere! Fingers crossed to get a property very soon and she’s able to pick out her own bedroom colours!

the only option really is some bed set up in living space. It’s all a bit late tbh, assuming baby was unplanned you just need to do the best you can and get somewhere better ghee as quickly as possible

if sofabed isn’t an option he needs to continue staying at his mums with her

You'll need to put up with it until you get a house sorted. Maybe you'll appreciate the alone time with your baby?

I was thinking this but wasn’t sure if it was a suitable suggestion I just feel bad she doesn’t have her own room but equally her spending time with her dad is priority still and for him all he wants is a ‘family.’ And I want to be able to cater to the fact he has both his children on the weekend if that makes sense as all he speaks about is wishing he’d have his daughter more and that she could stay here and now her sibling is coming he wants her to feel included and so do I - so it’s not me wanting him to not go over night it’s about how I could possibly make this work for both him and her as she goes on a lot about her sibling and she can’t wait to meet baby and I want them both to share the experience together as a family! This is all very new to me and I want to be able to support it all as much as I can and make it easier.
annoyingly would be hell of a lot easier if we had a bigger place!

I know a night every week will seem a big thing, but try and bear in mind that many single mums do seven nights a week alone.

You can do it! Hope all goes well.

More than likely, but I just wanted to cater to my partner to make things easier and his daughter wants to stay its just so hard having a smaller place we got let down on a property weeks before needing to move so it has messed it all up really!

Thank you - it is massively daunting and honestly so much appreciation for the single mums they are absolute hero’s!