Anyone overwhelmed with the thought of rebuilding!

[Nelly10]

Just that really, think I’m trying to run before I can walk. Nearly 4 months post split divorce going through, no going back wouldn’t want too. However re building just seems so overwhelming.

I'm the same, marriage ended in September after nearly 20 yrs so still trying to find my feet. Terrified of the future. I tend to over think and imagine horrrible things.

The thought of dating again makes my blood run cold. But then the thought of being alone forever depresses me.

The best advice I've gotten is to stop thinking ahead and stay in the now. I know its a massive cliche but take it one day at a time.

Right now, today, I'm fine. I'll worry about tomorrow when I get there.

Only one way to eat an elephant - one bite at a time. 🙂

It is I felt it too and 3 years on still feel it sometimes that said I just have to keep reminding myself of why I’m here and I’m sure one day it will feel different.

In all honesty, my divorce has been the best decision, and I have grown in confidence and competence since. (Admittedly my ex was a millstone around my neck and did a lot to keep me down).

Things I don't know how to do I learn (youtube) or ask friends/family or pay for help with.

I know exactly how much money I have coming in, what bills I have, and there's no-one to fuck it up but me 🙂

I prioritise what's important to me in terms of housework or whatever, and I'm captain of my own ship, it's good.

i want to be strong enough to leave for good.

I have been in a relationship for 4 years with the man I left my 22 year marriage for, I had been with my husband since I was 18 but very unhappy, so during these last four years I have been on and off with this man I know he isn’t right for me, he drinks and denies it, he suffers with depression and is draining, and he isn’t strong enough to build us together like he should have done, I bought my own house and we live a mile apart, nothing ever progresses because he will do something like go on a drinking spree lie about it and drive home so I decide to leave as I hate his behaviour and know there’s no future with him but days later I feel sick, lonely and terrified that I am all alone I imagine feeling like that for the rest of my life and I feel very ill about it, so I take him back for the small amount of good that I get, of course I have feelings for him, but I want to break the cycle for good but I just don’t know how? Has anyone ever felt like this and got over it? I know it might be driven from some childhood trauma when I was alone a lot but I want to be strong and ok!!

I don’t have that much experience but I think ultimately it’s better to be your own rather with someone who makes you feel this way.
I know it’s scary but we only get one life and that doesn’t sound like much of one to me 💐 good luck

Me too

STBX has gone on to have another family with OW and it’s just all so painful

Cant figure out what rebuilding looks like