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Original poster

Feeling trapped

8 replies

GraceUnderPresure · 16/01/2023 10:08

My boyfriend and I want to move in together for so many reasons, not least that we're both just happier people when we're together. I spend every weekend at his rented house with him and his young daughter spends some of this with us too.

There's the financial side as well, both of us are struggling a bit and sharing the cost of everything would make our lives much easier.

The only thing holding us back is that my adult daughter lives with me and doesn't earn enough to move out although she desperately wants to. She does not want to move in with me & my fella, we have offered her this.

So we're all stuck where we don't want to be and it's making us all unhappy.

Is there any solution I'm missing to this? All I can see that I can do at the moment is wait for her to earn more money or hope to win the lottery!

OP posts:
strawberrysummer19 · 16/01/2023 10:21

How old is your adult daughter?

Shoxfordian · 16/01/2023 10:27

Why doesn’t she want to live with you all? I would give her a deadline later in the year and then say either she lives with you all- and contributes to rent- or finds herself somewhere else

Zanatdy · 16/01/2023 10:32

I guess she’s an adult so she moves or finds her own place. I know that sounds harsh but you can’t put your own life on hold to keep her happy when she’s not a child anymore

Original poster
GraceUnderPresure · 16/01/2023 10:36

Shoxfordian · 16/01/2023 10:27

Why doesn’t she want to live with you all? I would give her a deadline later in the year and then say either she lives with you all- and contributes to rent- or finds herself somewhere else

She wants to live on her own, and my boyfriend lives too far from her work to be practical. He can't move closer for several reasons.

I guess a deadline is the only solution but it seems a bit harsh...

OP posts:
Emmamoo89 · 16/01/2023 10:48

You can't put your life on hold. She needs to find somewhere or move in and deal with it till she can afford somewhere

Original poster
GraceUnderPresure · 16/01/2023 11:37

Emmamoo89 · 16/01/2023 10:48

You can't put your life on hold. She needs to find somewhere or move in and deal with it till she can afford somewhere

Thanks, this is what I was thinking. Just wanted to check with others that I'm not being a horrible person and that there weren't any other options really.

OP posts:
GreyCarpet · 16/01/2023 19:15

How old is she? 18 and an adult (technically) or 30?

The others are right about not putting your life on hold but her age would depend on how I broached it.

baileys6904 · 16/01/2023 20:17

How olds your daughter and how long have you been with your boyfriend?

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