OLD - dealing with poor conversation

[Pyaar]

I know this is a really common thing with OLD, but is there a way to handle when you are having a chat with someone and the messages are really dry with no questions?

I used to just drop the guy assuming they weren't interested but I've had a few where they are really quick to respond and have talked about meeting up, so feel they are keen. Are they just genuinely unaware of how to converse?

Currently chatting to a guy who asked me out (I couldn't make it so we are going to rearrange) and responds quickly so I feel he must be interested, but the conversation is flagging today because he's sending rubbish replies with nothing to respond to.

If i ignore he might come back with something better, but he may just think I'm uninterested. I can't raise it as i think I'll just look high maintenance. I may just give an equally dead reply so the ball's back in his court..

What do you do?

I think this is meeting up quite quickly

“I chatted to people I find interesting and entertaining. A few messages a day for a week or two isn’t particularly onerous for me. If I met them and there was no spark, that was fine.”

I think you're right 😂

If you think a couple of weeks is quickly, then we’re not disagreeing re timescales. 😁

People on here talk about meeting in a matter of days. I think that’s quickly. Some people talk for over a month beforehand and I don’t get that either. Ten days to two weeks was perfect, imo.

God, I still tease DH about this! We
met on Match many years ago, and while he answered my questions he never asked me any! I was convinced he wasn’t really interested, so wasn’t particularly quick to respond to his messages but then I could see he was constantly checking my profile if I didn’t reply. Anyway, long story short, now we’re married and have DC together and he’s the most loving devoted husband you could want. Still shit at replying to messages though.

He’s a great conversationalist in person though - our first date lasted about five hours chatting in the pub over an extremely long lunch.

Yeah, I got the impression you meant months when I responded to you earlier 😂Turns out we were on the same page.

I can't imagine meeting anyone within a couple of days, assuming adult with kids/work etc.

I don’t check my phone during work hours, so find the messaging thing a bit of a non- starter.

I like to meet relatively quickly. I’ve chatted to people via text for ages, then when I’ve met them, I’ve known instantly I don’t fancy them. Don’t want to waste time with endless text to someone I’ll never be in a relationship with.

that said - you usually get a good idea of someone is reasonably articulate through exchanging a few texts.

If you want a partner/date who is crap at making conversation, keep trying with them. If you want someone who can converse in a way that works for you, leave them behind.

They're showing you the way they are, just like if they told you they only wear clothes from the 70s or they're vegan or they're really into opera. 'This is how I converse' is what they're showing you, and if it's not for you, that's fine, but don't waste your time. You might miss out on Mr Amazing-Conversation whilst you're trying to draw one of these conversational hermit crabs out of his shell.

Exact same situation here. Been together for 7 years and have lovely chats! If the person is attractive and you share interests then no harm in a quick coffee if you have the time...