I can't really believe that I am writing this as its something I never thought would happen. Found out my partner has cheated on me over the last 4 weeks, in what I think Mumsnet would call an 'emotional affair', although having read all their messages he did push to meet with her so I am certain he would have taken it further if he had the opportunity.
She seemed on the face of it not as interested in him, and did rebuff him after the first major overstepping of boundaries (but the red flags are there right from the start), but next day she's telling him how no one has talked to her like that before blah blah blurgh. Basically looks like she was using him for an ego massage, which he's lapping up.
The messages are such a bizarre mixture of boring, pathetic, and downright cringe. There is fucking poetry and everything. I probably didn't need to put myself through that but after he had lied repeatedly to me I wanted to know exactly what the situation was.
He's so sorry, was 'caught up in the emotion', totally happy with our relationship apparently. What makes it worse is I've just lost a family member, have huge work stresses, and am in the process of trying to sort that out with a career break. I don't think it could have ever been more of a betrayal of trust than over this time period. He was messaging her on NYE while I was sobbing upstairs over what a shit year it was, I stupidly thought he was also finding it difficult and needed space too.
I said if this ever happened that would be it, but believe it or not he parents and deals with house stuff to the point that I'm not sure I can cope with him not being here from a practical point of view. So I don't know what to do. I feel so angry and betrayed.
It's blindsided me although in hindsight there were teeny tiny signs. Though we were soul mates :(