Dsis (18 months older) and our daughters (18 months apart)

[Saturn90]

So I have just a baby, a beautiful little girl.

My sis had a baby 18 months ago, also a girl. And funnily enough my sis is 18 months older than me.

We've always been competitive since childhood. Partly because we're very different people and we don't always "gel", which I think doesn't help us be close and therefore makes rivalry easier - IYSWIM?

Anyway, I just have this fear she won't like my daughter since she's a "threat" to hers, and in turn I will see her DD as an extension of her, and worry she won't be very nice to mine. Silly I know since they're both babies!

How do I get out of these old habits and make the most of the situation? I'd love them to be best friends and avoid the issues we've had. Maybe since they're cousins it won't be an issue anyway and I'm worrying for nothing..

Does anyone else have a similar scenario? Is my baby brain being silly?

You are a parent now, maybe it’s time to grow up a bit.

You have full control over how you feel, how you treat your niece, and how you react to your sister.

Try modelling some better behaviour for the next generation.

Cousins are a joy, better than siblings in many ways, and you and your sister would be sensible to encourage your daughters to develop a friendship. Maybe it's time to have an honest conversation and talk about sibling rivalry etc and agree to try to forget the past and start over for the sake of your children.

How did this happen?

What was the family dynamic in your home that your parents set up?

You need to get over you and your sister first. Do you have thoughts about why it came about and how it’s not resolved in adulthood?

Are you able to see both sides and would you be able to talk to your sister about it?

If not can you see your role in it and are you up for changing your reactions and contributions to change the dynamic.