Why do men do this?

[notamumyet2010]

Thanks in advancing for reading this. I think I know the answer but interested to see peoples opinions.
Started chatting to a guy online and he was keen to call me after just a couple of days. I hate speaking on the phone but said yes ok, but there was a bit of confusion about his last message and I wasn’t sure if he wanted to meet in person or call.
He confirmed he just wanted to call as he likes to take things slowly. Ok fair enough I think-so we speak on the phone for 90 minutes. Goes really well, lots in common and no silences. At the end he asks me to go round, I said no, it was a weeknight and obviously we haven’t even met yet-for all I know he is Jack the Ripper!
He teases me a bit, says he has loved speaking to me, and shall we meet up the next day-I say yeah sounds good. He ends the call saying he is going to delete the app.
Well this was two days ago-no contact since but has deleted his photos off the app.
WTH!
Am I right in thinking all he wanted was a one night stand?
I feel daft for believing him-he spent a lot of the call telling me he is a good guy who doesn't play games!

Yeah he just wanted to get into your knickers. If he was genuine he wouldn’t be wanting to get you round straight away. I’ve been with dh 15 years from meeting on plenty of fish - we just met for a coffee in costa at first!

Any stranger who tells you he’s a good guy is not a good guy

Yep he wanted an easy lay unfortunately. Just as well you said no.

He confirmed he just wanted to call as he likes to take things slowly.
He ends the call saying he is going to delete the app.
he spent a lot of the call telling me he is a good guy who doesn't play games!
Methinks the gentleman doth protest too much.
Very keen to paint a picture of himself as a Good Guy.

Sorry he wasted your time op. Sounds like he thought he was Ubering free sex. Thank god you didn’t go round to his. Forget his sorry ass.

Also don’t waste anytime trying to figure out why he did this, he isn’t worth another second of your time.

Can't you just say, hate doing the long phone call thing. Shall we meet for a coffee first take it from there?

Then you know if they can or can't be bothered.

Any decent, truly decent guy, will understand a female's vulnerability meeting new strange men, or handing out personal phone numbers and understand. In fact they should encourage it.

All that spiel on the phone about him being a good guy who doesn’t play games and likes to take things slow (but asks you over to his house right away) was just him feeding you the story he thought might maximize his chances of getting laid that night.

You didn't bite, so he gave up and moved on to easier prey.

Bullet dodged.

He is just your common variety fuckboi who is only looking for sex. Better learn to recognise them fast cause the apps are full of them.

You are all so right. It’s just so frustrating and seems so odd.
As soon as he started saying what he good guy he is I started thinking well if you were would you feel the need to tell me?
Any ideas why he has taken down his pics on the app? Do you reckon he already has a girlfriend?
I shouldn’t bother wasting my time I know but you do hear of the odd good experience online. Just seems rare tho :-(
Thanks everyone x

Any ideas why he has taken down his pics on the app?
"I am so dedicated to you that I am not speaking to any other women"
Plus, my wife is a bit suspicious.

I only dabbled in online dating briefly, but something I realised was that any man who talks about how he is one of the good guys, not a game-player, honesty matters so much to him, just a nice decent easy-going chap, happy-go-lucky, etc is probably not. Why would they feel the need to say this? A genuinely nice, respectful man would know that being nice and respectful is a baseline and it's for you to make your own mind up about him. So unfortunately it's a red flag for me (even though it might occasionally be true).

I've had good experiences online, have been with the last one 6 years now. Just don't trust them without good reason, and listen to your gut. That slightly weird tone or tiny facial reaction are what you thought.

This man and your interaction with him has more red flags than a Putin convention. I don't even know here to start honestly...

• 90 mins on the phone being the first time you guys talk is a bit madness, it's too much time (I hope you did a free wassap call otherwise your phone bill is going to be steep).
• He tells you "he wants to take things slowly" and then asks you to go round to meet him? He's full of sh-t.
• Instead of planning a proper date he asks you to meet next day. This guy doesn't have much going on in his life.
• He ends up his call telling you he's going to delete the app. Why? is he too god for OLD, did he just met the woman of his dreams? Weird.
• Of course he hasn't deleted the app. Duh.
• Someone who feels the need to insist that "he's a good guy who doesn't play games" is usually not a good guy and he likes to play games. Nice attempt of self promotion but That sort of statement is based on facts that you will eventually have to find for yourself.

Bin this guy fast because he's bad news.

Possibly he might have other people on the go, via online dating or otherwise and one of these other situations has come to fruition. Or a long term partner or spouse is at risk of finding out. Sometimes people just get cold feet and not want to go any further. Sometimes they just like the attention. Anyway, he's deselected himself from the pool, which is a relief in some ways. Imagine trying to have an actual relationship with someone that flaky!

I sometimes wonder whether men assume that women are on dating sites for the same reason they are.

Woman on dating site = must be sexually frustrated and desperate for a shag.