I've been lurking on this forum for a while, but this is my first post. Not looking for sympathy, advice etc., just having a rant and letting off some steam! And be warned - this is a long one!
A few weeks ago, I matched with what seemed like a pleasant enough guy on Tinder. Experience has taught me not to get sucked into the endless messaging thing and I like to set up a quick meet up asap.
So after exchanging a few messages, I suggested a f2f get together (I normally prefer the man to ask for a date, but it clearly wasn't going to be forthcoming in this case).
In response, Mr Time Waster asked for a telephone call. I prefer not to speak on the phone pre meeting, but that's just me, and I agreed to a quick phone chat. Anyway, said 'quick' call lasted well over an hour, and while he was quite interesting and intelligent to chat to, I would have preferred to have spent my time reading a book, cuddling my cat, eating chocolate, binging on a box set etc.
At the end of the call, I asked if we could now arrange to meet up and he asked for another phone call. Aaaargh! For some inexplicable reason, I agreed and the following night, we spent TWO FUCKING HOURS on the phone. By this stage, I was adding 'watch paint dry' to my list of cat cuddling etc. Again, at the end of the telephone endurance ordeal he requested another call in response to my increasingly desperate plea for a meet up, to which I inexplicably agreed.
I have absolutely no idea why I allowed myself to get drawn into this fuckery - I suppose it's all to do with the sunk cost fallacy and I wanted to get some return on my increasingly large investment of time.
So we ended up having somewhere between seven and eight phone calls (which included a video call) before he agreed to meet up, easily totaling over 12 hours.
We finally agree to meet - phew! It's during the day, so I suggested lunch. His response was that he didn't want to eat, as having a meal together would distract us from getting to know each other. Uh???? That's a rather creative way of saying 'I'm a cheapskate scrote'. Nevertheless, I agreed to a coffee.
On the day of the date, I spent some time getting ready and making myself look nice, only to get a message an hour before our scheduled meeting time to say that he wasn't going to make it, as the weather was bad (of course it's bad - it's fucking January!). No apology. Very, very annoying, as by this stage it was too late for me to make alternative plans for my afternoon.
I was feeling pretty bad tempered by this stage, but agreed to meet up the following day. So we finally get face to face - and guess what ladies? Absolutely zero chemistry (not helped by the fact that Mr Charmer turned up in scruffy old clothes in contrast to my carefully chosen ensemble ....). We went for our 'romantic' (not) coffee and I found myself crossing off the minutes until I could escape. When that blessed moment came, he started faffing with his phone muttering something about an important message. In my desperation to end the date, I pointedly marched up to the counter, paid for our coffees and made my bid for freedom. Stopping off to buy some much needed chocolate on my way home of course.
Needless to say, I haven't heard from him since our 'date' and have no wish for him to get in contact (in fact, I may block his number). I am SO cross with myself for getting drawn into such a ridiculous situation and very much hope that I don't let it happen again with anyone else.
Total waste score:
Phone calls = 12 hours
Cancelled date = 2 hours
Actual date = 2 hours
Coffee = 7 quid
As mentioned, I'm not looking for sympathy - I know I shouldn't have let myself be a such a doormat. Never again!