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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Insecure?

31 replies

Wormworld7 · 12/01/2023 10:38

My partner and i first got together 8 years ago. We had an amazing first year together, he took on my then 10 year old as his own, was a great step dad and we were so happy... until he started to become paranoid and jealous and quite toxic. He struggled to accept i had close friendships with males and eventually our relationship ended because he obsessed over one friend in particular, who he believes i cheated with. We spilt for 5 years, blocked each other on eveything, but every few months or so would exchange emails. We missed each other and couldn't move on, so last year we ended up meeting and getting back together. We had some big talks about his jealousy issues and made a lot of progress we hadnt been able to before, but he still wanst certain i hadnt cheated. I fell pregnant after 3 months, i am Now almost 6 months pregnant and old patterns are now repeating themselves. He insisted on going through my phone to find messages on insta with a guy id known since school. The messages were him asking how i was and congratulating me on my pregnancy. I admitted that he had once asked me out on a date in the time we werent together, but i declined and we remained "friends" - i use the term loosely, as it would just be the occasion checking in asking how eachother was, maybe touch on current affairs in the world, ask how eachothers kids are (he is a single parent). My partner is furious that i would "entertain" somebody who is "quite obviously chasing after me, lingering on and taking the long route" - i disagree, i dont believe that to be the case, otherwise i wouldnt entertain it. There are many other examples, and so much more in between, but it all feels so complex to type out. But am i wrong for speaking to a guy innocently? The guy is aware i have a boyfriend, hes a sweet person and expressed genuine happiness for our baby news. The thing is, the interaction itself isnt that deep, i probably couldnt care less if i never speak to this guy again! But its the fact its being misconstrued as something it isnt that is hurting me. Surely its only me who could make the choices that are right for me and align with my moral standards in a relationship, i dont believe all situations to be black and white and i dont think its my partners place to decide who i should and shouldnt talk to!

To be clear, if i thought this guy was genuinely after me in that way, i wouldnt entertain talking to him, i dont think thats acceptable. But my partner believes that ive simply "friendzoned" him, and its not okay to carry on talking to somebody who would jump at the chance to be with me. He truly believes that guys only accept friendzone status, so they can linger and hold out hope for that one day i might change my mind.

If you've made it this far, thank you fir reading!

OP posts:
baileys6904 · 12/01/2023 10:40

Get rid. It will get worse and he's already got you doubting yourself

Wormworld7 · 12/01/2023 10:46

So he doesn't have a valid point at all? Im genuinely questioning my moral stance here. And yeah, maybe thats what hes driving me to. He thinks the wya i see it is that if im innocent and i know my own interactions have no intentions, then it doesnt matter what the guys intentions are - but that's not at all true! I wouldnt speak to someone who i believed had intentions for anythung more. He calls me naive and says guys will be subtle with it and hang on for years - which i dont doubt can be the case sometimes, but i feel i shoild be free to decide if thats whats going on and make my own judgements!

OP posts:
crackofdoom · 12/01/2023 10:50

Deep down, he doesn't believe that men and women can have platonic friendships. Now, why IS that? Does he have any female friends himself? Or does he believe that women are only there for sexual/ romantic interactions? 🤔

Emmamoo89 · 12/01/2023 10:52

Definitely get rid. You deserve better x

Wormworld7 · 12/01/2023 10:55

Yeah he admits that he isnt open enough to friendships with females. And he has said he would like to be more open to it. But its more of the fact that he thinks this guys has been friend zoned, means we can never be friends. I mean we have had issues with all sorts of my male friends, majority of whom i have only had purely platonic relationships! Dont even want to open the can of worms with the one guy i slept with over 10 years ago and spoke about meeting up last summer. You can imagine how that went down.

OP posts:
Mabelface · 12/01/2023 11:02

Well, he's not changed at all, so what are you going to do? This is all him, not you.

Wormworld7 · 12/01/2023 11:33

He admits that a lot of it is him. But he thinks some of it is also me too. He says a "true queen" wouldnt entertain these guys. Not that theres hoards of guys messaging me! Im just trying to guage if im being unreasonable here. I get what he thinks is happening, but i dont believe it to be the case. He always says if the tables were turned and he were entertaining convos with females that had been after him, id feel the same. And in a black and white sense, that might be true. But if he explained that those females were truly platonic, id trust his judgement on that!

OP posts:
Wormworld7 · 12/01/2023 11:39

To add to this, he says im sad and acting desperate by talking to this guy. I have a fulfilling friendship circle and the type of social life any 35 year old mum has 😂 lots of close friends and people i can genuinely open upto. I seem them when our adult lives allow it. He makes out like im just opening up to strangers all over the Internet for validation. There was another guy who popped up, a mutual friend of ours, suggesting wr meet up sometime. I was polite and thought the giy was a bit strange, i replied a few one word answers for the day and never spoke again. Weve been arguing about how i gave that guy too much of my time since October.

OP posts:
2023a · 12/01/2023 11:50

Why are you tolerating this? Why are you even entertaining these arguments? You know his behaviour is unacceptable and you’ve broken up with him for it before. He clearly has not changed, so where is the disconnect for you? Why are you now trying to rationalise his jealous controlling behaviour?

Wormworld7 · 12/01/2023 11:56

Am i going crazy? I think im falling into the same trap, youre right, i dont know. I just genuinely feel like I'm second guessing myself, i just wanted to hear others opinions. I know some couples have different boundaries on these sorts of things? Or do they? I dont know anymore?! He says im some modern 21st century feminist viewpoint that believes as long as i know I'M innocent, then i should be free to do what i want, even if it upsets him and regardless of any of the other guys intentions. When i dont think thats fully true, i woildnt entertain a guy i thought was in any way interested in me! Am i naive for believing this guy is hapoy with my friendship, is he really after more but will simply settle for whar he can get because hes been friend zoned ?! I genuinely want to know!?

OP posts:
2023a · 12/01/2023 12:11

Wormworld7 · 12/01/2023 11:56

Am i going crazy? I think im falling into the same trap, youre right, i dont know. I just genuinely feel like I'm second guessing myself, i just wanted to hear others opinions. I know some couples have different boundaries on these sorts of things? Or do they? I dont know anymore?! He says im some modern 21st century feminist viewpoint that believes as long as i know I'M innocent, then i should be free to do what i want, even if it upsets him and regardless of any of the other guys intentions. When i dont think thats fully true, i woildnt entertain a guy i thought was in any way interested in me! Am i naive for believing this guy is hapoy with my friendship, is he really after more but will simply settle for whar he can get because hes been friend zoned ?! I genuinely want to know!?

I know some couples have different boundaries on these sorts of things? Or do they?

So what? Seriously, what relevance does other couples’ boundaries have? What he’s doing is unacceptable to you. It’s also unacceptable to most mentally healthy people, but that’s not even particularly important. You don’t like it, so you don’t have to live with it. You are in control of your life.

He says im some modern 21st century feminist viewpoint that believes as long as i know I'M innocent, then i should be free to do what i want, even if it upsets him and regardless of any of the other guys intentions.

And? What’s wrong with being a 21sr century feminist? And, yes, if you know your intentions, why are the guys’ intentions relevant? Unless he thinks they’re going to rape you, nothing is going to happen unless you choose for it to happen. And his being upset does not entitle him to rob you of your agency.

Am i naive for believing this guy is hapoy with my friendship, is he really after more but will simply settle for whar he can get because hes been friend zoned?

Please see previous point. None of this matters.

So, again, why are you tolerating this? Nobody can insist they’re going through your phone - you’re agreeing to it. You’re engaging in arguments about your agency and right to speak to who you choose. You’re placating a jealous fool and twisting yourself into knots. Why? For what?

XmasElf10 · 12/01/2023 12:16

True queen?? I think I just threw up in my mouth a bit!

It is quite normal for people to be casual friends with people of the opposite sex including those they may once upon a time have had a little more than friendship with. I exchange occasional pleasantries online with a few exes of many years back. They are now married, I was and now divorced. 100% platonic and I’m never likely to actually see any of these people in person. I exchange polite and friendly chat with my ex husband. I have rebuffed one of my colleagues gently in the past - he took it well and we are still friendly.

Your partner is being incredibly unreasonable.

Wormworld7 · 12/01/2023 12:54

I agree! Thank you for validating my inner beliefs!

OP posts:
Wormworld7 · 12/01/2023 12:56

I know, it gives me the ick also! Thank you, im really struggling with the gas lighting and being sucked into these circles, when i know i just want to behave like an emotoinally mature, secure adult!

OP posts:
Goatbilly · 12/01/2023 14:04

And now you'll be embroiled with him until your second child is 18. Not so easy to walk away.

Astaphorial · 12/01/2023 19:02

Not insecure - controlling.

Your partner is controlling.
Never ever excuse controlling behaviour as insecurity.

I hope you find the strength to get away from your abuser. You should never have taken him back.

Watchkeys · 12/01/2023 19:10

i dont think its my partners place to decide who i should and shouldnt talk to

Right.

Why would you question this?

Stay away from people who make you feel like you're going crazy.

Choconut · 12/01/2023 19:22

True Queen? That's enough to give anyone the ick surely.

He says im some modern 21st century feminist viewpoint that believes as long as i know I'M innocent, then i should be free to do what i want, even if it upsets him and regardless of any of the other guys intentions. - Yes, that's exactly what you should be, please don't let him make it sound like something wrong.

He's a controlling prick OP that doesn't trust you for a second and these people only ever get worse and worse. I fear having a baby with him just a few months after getting back together was a huge mistake. Do you have a lot of friends and family around you for support?

Astaphorial · 12/01/2023 19:25

Yes 'true queen' sounds like the language those mysoginistic pick up artists on YouTube use.

MadMadMadamMim · 12/01/2023 19:37

Honestly? He's an utter prick.

Get rid of him, grey rock and do your best to co-parent. But please don't remain in a relationship with him.

Wormworld7 · 12/01/2023 20:39

Thank you

OP posts:
Wormworld7 · 12/01/2023 20:42

Thank you. I live with no regrets in regards to getting pregnant, i have no doubts he will a great parent. I do have supportive family and friends and i have raised a child alone before, so i kniw its possible!

OP posts:
Shoxfordian · 12/01/2023 21:03

He’s a controlling jealous man and nothing changed- don’t know why you got back with him

Wormworld7 · 12/01/2023 21:17

Yeah, im struggling to fathom myself. I was convinced he had matured. And ive missed him for many years. Everything else we are perfect together :(

OP posts:
ImJustMadAboutSaffron · 12/01/2023 22:09

Astaphorial · 12/01/2023 19:25

Yes 'true queen' sounds like the language those mysoginistic pick up artists on YouTube use.

What exactly is a true queen? He's a control freak

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