Page 2 | Stories of them coming back and you'd moved on.

januarybooz · 2023-01-11T20:55:02+00:00

Been ghosted and trying to perk myself up with tales of when they came back out the woodwork and you had the pleasure of saying thanks but no thanks... Or they won you back round but would say that's high unlikely... Hit me!

ABrotherWhoLooksLikeHellMugYou · 12/01/2023 14:41

Yeah. I had a rebound obsession with a chap I matched with. We had one date, a series of intense video calls (he luved 90 minutes away), then he basically put a stop to it (he said due to the distance, I suspect a commitment phobe).

I said OK, went back hunting on the apps, then spotted him checking out my social media a month or so later. I kept tabs on it, posted deliberately "I've got a wonderful life" content and then on NYE he got in touch asking for a second chance, set a date for a big date in early Feb.

Between NYE and Feb I met someone else and fell madly in love with a wonderful man so called off that second date and never heard from him again.

You snooze you lose. I'm still with the wonderful man and he thinks I'm pretty wonderful too.

HerRoyalNotness · 12/01/2023 14:48

back in the olden times my first H emailed me just before the 2yrs of separation were up where I could file for divorce. Asking to talk about getting back together 🤯 I emailed back what could you possibly offer me? I have it all, job, friends, home. piss off

filed divorce the next week which he refused to sign 😂

Movinghouseatlast · 12/01/2023 15:00

This is many years ago, over 30. I was very young, I know I did wrong.

I was madly in love with a bloke, he was with me too he said. We were working together and he had a girlfrend. He told me it was me he loved but he was marrying her because their families were involved, they were best friends etc etc.

I was absolutely heartbroken.

5 years later he phoned me out of the blue. He was divorced and wanted me back. He said "I should have married you". He said he had always known he wanted me back, that he and his wife had split up because it was just a friendship, he had waited until the divorce was finalised to contact me so he could come to me totally single and over his broken martiage. I was with my husband by then so I told him nothing doing!

What a lucky escape I had! 2 years ago I saw an article on BBC news that he had been imprisoned for having a relationship with a vulnerable adult in his workplace. If it quacks like a duck...

Aposterhasnoname · 12/01/2023 15:18

Yup. After two years together he started making noises about spending Christmas and new year in Scotland with friends who were having the most amazing party ever. Made it clear I wasn’t invited, even though we’d spent the last two Christmases/new years together and I’d otherwise be alone. Also started saying “this isn’t a relationship, it’s an involvement” and he was entitled to have one night stands if he wanted to. I ditched him, and being young and hot as I was then, (this was a very long time ago) quickly found a replacement and made plans to spend the festive period with him.

On Christmas Eve our hero rang me. He’d made a terrible mistake, loved me, had sacked off Scotland cos he wanted to be with me and could he come over. How I laughed. Turns out the expected invite to the “most amazing party ever” never materialised as it was couples only and not the shag fest he expected 😁

Astaphorial · 12/01/2023 15:31

RavenclawsPrincess · 11/01/2023 22:24

Ex of mine, we split up after a year because he “wasn’t ready to commit”. He moved abroad, a year later I met DH. We stayed Facebook friends, but otherwise after we split not much contact. He married a woman he met abroad. He then came back to the UK for a visit a year or so ago, gave me the shock of my life when he said he’d never stopped thinking about me and wishes he hadn’t been such an idiot 15 years ago and thinks he let the love of his life go! We are both married, nothing happened or is going to happen. It might all be bullshit and he’s just another bored middle aged man and was trying to get a bit on the side, I dunno! But it was a nice ego boost in a way! 🤣

Oh gosh, his initials àrent J.m are they? Cause if so, we may have the same 'sorta' ex lol.

DancinOnTheCeiling · 12/01/2023 15:36

@januarybooz aw I hope you get over him soon. This has happened to me a few times, and almost all of them came back crawling after a while.. sometimes after a few months or even a year/years but what they all had in common: it was always when I was totally and completely no longer bothered. (I think we somehow send off ‘no longer bothered’ signals into the universe or something!)

ikhwod · 12/01/2023 15:37

22 year relationship, He left me out of the blue, Needed to sort his head out and couldn't do that with me in his life apparently, Found out a year later he left me for a 20 year old he met at work but he failed to ask her if she was interested before he left me. She wasn't interested in him at all. Turns out he fancied her but didn't tell her and just assumed she felt the same!

Six years on, I get a call (a few weeks ago) from him saying how there's nobody else out there like me, He will never connect with anyone like he did with me and he knows he made the biggest mistake of his life, then started crying.

Loved that man with everything I had but wouldn't have him back.

PeeAche2 · 12/01/2023 15:48

I was once seeing a man who gave me the runaround. We split up 3 times, always his idea… the final time was on my birthday. On. My. Birthday.

I pined for him for months and months. One day, I was driving home from work along the motorway and “need a little time” by The Beautiful South came on my mix CD. I realised that, just like the song, he also had a big fat head and I didn’t need his loser ass no more.

It was like a light had gone on in my head and I started to actually, truly get over him.

At (I assume) precisely the same moment, my ex suddenly became acutely aware of my new found state of mind. Because that’s how the universe works. They always know. Soon he let me know that he wanted me back.

No chance.

I had a wonderful few months. Traveled with friends, taught myself how to make an incredible paella (still my signature dish, TYVM) and had repeated sex with a Canadian man who’s penis was so big it couldn’t fit all the way inside me.

About 10 months later, whilst looking super thin and sexy, I bumped into the loser that dumped me on my birthday. We were married 3 years later. We now have 3 children, 2 cats and a draughty old house in the countryside. I love him very much. Never told him about the Canadian.

DevonSunsets · 12/01/2023 15:51

We were a couple for a number of years. He had come out of a relationship before where she wanted more and he wasn't ready.

I was still young/carefree and he was my first proper grown up boyfriend and I was very much in love - but was baffled when he dropped the bombshell of suddenly wanting us to be having babies, all the babies. babies. babies. babies.

I was not up for that at all. When he realised I was not going to change my mind any time soon he bailed back his previous missus without saying a word (breaking my heart, rental agreement and my bank account in the process) and popped out a whole load of kiddies in very quick succession.

He emails me every six months or so to reminisce about the wonderful time we had, how great we were together, how we could just up and go to places abroad on a whim and how our money was our own. He waxes lyrical about how we could just sit in silence, enjoy our time and our days were our own to fill with things that interested us and made us happy.

Which all sounds pretty harmless escapism from the gritty downsides of parenting except he always ends his emails with 'just say the word and I will leave this all for you'

If I was his wife I would be livid.

RavenclawsPrincess · 12/01/2023 16:37

Astaphorial · 12/01/2023 15:31

Oh gosh, his initials àrent J.m are they? Cause if so, we may have the same 'sorta' ex lol.

Show quote history

Not quite! One of those initials is different. There are many of these types about I feel…

Original poster

januarybooz · 12/01/2023 16:48

DevonSunsets · 12/01/2023 15:51

We were a couple for a number of years. He had come out of a relationship before where she wanted more and he wasn't ready.

I was still young/carefree and he was my first proper grown up boyfriend and I was very much in love - but was baffled when he dropped the bombshell of suddenly wanting us to be having babies, all the babies. babies. babies. babies.

I was not up for that at all. When he realised I was not going to change my mind any time soon he bailed back his previous missus without saying a word (breaking my heart, rental agreement and my bank account in the process) and popped out a whole load of kiddies in very quick succession.

He emails me every six months or so to reminisce about the wonderful time we had, how great we were together, how we could just up and go to places abroad on a whim and how our money was our own. He waxes lyrical about how we could just sit in silence, enjoy our time and our days were our own to fill with things that interested us and made us happy.

Which all sounds pretty harmless escapism from the gritty downsides of parenting except he always ends his emails with 'just say the word and I will leave this all for you'

If I was his wife I would be livid.

That's sad for his wife

OP posts:

Original poster

januarybooz · 12/01/2023 16:49

PeeAche2 · 12/01/2023 15:48

I was once seeing a man who gave me the runaround. We split up 3 times, always his idea… the final time was on my birthday. On. My. Birthday.

I pined for him for months and months. One day, I was driving home from work along the motorway and “need a little time” by The Beautiful South came on my mix CD. I realised that, just like the song, he also had a big fat head and I didn’t need his loser ass no more.

It was like a light had gone on in my head and I started to actually, truly get over him.

At (I assume) precisely the same moment, my ex suddenly became acutely aware of my new found state of mind. Because that’s how the universe works. They always know. Soon he let me know that he wanted me back.

No chance.

I had a wonderful few months. Traveled with friends, taught myself how to make an incredible paella (still my signature dish, TYVM) and had repeated sex with a Canadian man who’s penis was so big it couldn’t fit all the way inside me.

About 10 months later, whilst looking super thin and sexy, I bumped into the loser that dumped me on my birthday. We were married 3 years later. We now have 3 children, 2 cats and a draughty old house in the countryside. I love him very much. Never told him about the Canadian.

Wow! Great story!

OP posts:

Astaphorial · 12/01/2023 17:12

RavenclawsPrincess · 12/01/2023 16:37

Not quite! One of those initials is different. There are many of these types about I feel…

Show quote history

Yeah, mine was just never gappy with what ever he had. Always wanting something else. Probably always will.

Good luck to their wives is all I can say!

Astaphorial · 12/01/2023 17:13

*happy

Original poster

januarybooz · 12/01/2023 21:10

ikhwod · 12/01/2023 15:37

22 year relationship, He left me out of the blue, Needed to sort his head out and couldn't do that with me in his life apparently, Found out a year later he left me for a 20 year old he met at work but he failed to ask her if she was interested before he left me. She wasn't interested in him at all. Turns out he fancied her but didn't tell her and just assumed she felt the same!

Six years on, I get a call (a few weeks ago) from him saying how there's nobody else out there like me, He will never connect with anyone like he did with me and he knows he made the biggest mistake of his life, then started crying.

Loved that man with everything I had but wouldn't have him back.

Glad you moved on and he regrets it!

OP posts:

Winemygoodenemy · 13/01/2023 09:47

I have another one. Guy was dating for nearly a year, loved him could see him as my forever guy. Decided he didn’t know what he wanted in life and ended it. Very upset.

year later he goes through a mental health crisis and contacts me for support. I help as I am nice, we become closer and try again. Same script few months later. Me upset again.

year later he gets a new girlfriend who looks double of me. Bump into him, he acknowledges she looks like me. Says he had to get a replacement as he realises he loves me. But I can be the OG if I want. Nah