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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Hold my hand and tell me he’s a shit

21 replies

XmasElf10 · 11/01/2023 17:20

My exP and I split up before Xmas. It wasn’t all anyone’s fault but just repeated poor communication. To be honest my heart is a bit dented and cracked but I’ve been feeling better. We’ve been no contact for a month but needs to arrange return of stuff. I didn’t realise how raw I felt until he asked if I’d like to just be fuck buddies. I should be angry but I just feel like shit. 3 years and our ongoing argument was about commitment and he really thinks of me as something that could just be a sex toy??

My ex husband asked the same when we were divorcing. Am I that cheap, sad and unattractive that they think I’d be willing to fuck my ex to feel better? I feel like I’ve been kicked. I thought this guy was genuinely lovely, even if we couldn’t make it work I thought he was a thoroughly decent guy. I think I’m going to go and have a good cry. I suppose it shows we made the right decision in ending it. Feel free to call him many thousand types of shit!

OP posts:
heldinadream · 11/01/2023 17:22

Only thousands OP?
He is illimitable amounts of shit and cliche as it is, you deserve waaaaaaay better.

PermanentTemporary · 11/01/2023 17:24

Christ that is a shitty thing to do.

Try to think that they clearly find you irresistibly sexy. But they can't be the partner you need and deserve x

Comedycook · 11/01/2023 17:25

Tell him to fuck off and don't sleep with him ever again

XmasElf10 · 11/01/2023 17:29

Don’t worry my fanny clamped shut instantly. Even if it hadn’t not fucking my exes is like one of my top 5 life rules!!

OP posts:
category12 · 11/01/2023 17:29

Shits.

It doesn't say anything about YOU, it says tons about them.

Bonheurdupasse · 11/01/2023 17:31

What an absolute shitbag OP.
To say that, after the arguments in your relationship having been about commitment...what an absolute shitbag.

yorkshirepudsx · 11/01/2023 17:34

Nooo OP what a prick!! I'm sorry you've had to go through this.

One of my ex's asked me to be his fuck buddy a few weeks after we split and I never contacted him again, it fully gave me the ick, and as you said, fanny clamped shut instantly 😳

It's not reflection of you, only them. Xx

Ofcourseshecan · 11/01/2023 17:35

The one good thing is that both these men have given you solid-gold evidence that they are worthless arses. So you now know for a fact you’ll be better off without them.

Sending a hug to you and a knee in the balls to them.

Annoyingwurringnoise · 11/01/2023 17:36

I’d be like dude, seriously, we broke up, I’m no longer limited to having sex with you, i’m off to find a decent shag now.

Maray1967 · 11/01/2023 17:49

Annoyingwurringnoise · 11/01/2023 17:36

I’d be like dude, seriously, we broke up, I’m no longer limited to having sex with you, i’m off to find a decent shag now.

Oh yes, go with this. This is what he deserves.

Thisisworsethananticpated · 11/01/2023 19:06

Try to think that they clearly find you irresistibly sexy. But they can't be the partner you need and deserve x

this ! My exes all hate me and spit on my grave

he’s an arse clearly , and a horny one too
twat

chevvyroo · 11/01/2023 20:30

Decline and hint that with a FB, you would at a minimum require decent sex.

ShandaLear · 11/01/2023 20:35

‘Oh heck, no way. No point in picking at a carcass when there’s plenty of fresh meat out there.’ This is a very crude, but effective way of telling him that he is being discarded.

FinallyHere · 11/01/2023 20:39

category12 · 11/01/2023 17:29

Shits.

It doesn't say anything about YOU, it says tons about them.

This.

Hold on to this. Believe us.

Your life is going to be great from here onwards.

firstmummy2019 · 11/01/2023 20:42

I would be tempted to say yes, send photos of outrageous lingerie and get him to book a hotel. Then don't turn up.

Atethehalloweenchocs · 11/01/2023 20:58

Fucking hell, that is grim! You deserve so much better! I wonder if it is the same idea as 'you wanna fuck' as an opening line. 99% of the time you get slapped, but that 1 maybe makes it worth it? It is so gross. I think it is just an unfortunate coincidence. Hope neither of them ever have sex ever again!

WhereHasTheYoungMeGone · 12/01/2023 00:34

Am I that cheap, sad and unattractive that they think I’d be willing to fuck my ex to feel better?

If you were unattractive they wouldn't be asking you to sleep with them!

Mumma · 12/01/2023 00:41

What a shithead! Do not sleep with him!!!!! Eurgh!

Viviennemary · 12/01/2023 00:47

What an absolute cheek. But its no reflection on you but shows what type they are. You deserve much better.

Dery · 12/01/2023 07:20

“‘Am I that cheap, sad and unattractive that they think I’d be willing to fuck my ex to feel better?’

If you were unattractive they wouldn't be asking you to sleep with them!”

This. I do wonder why your take-away from this suggestion is that you’re unattractive. I think that’s worth a bit of exploration.

XmasElf10 · 12/01/2023 07:20

Thanks vipers, feeling much better this morning. I think it was just a bit of a shock. I shall go back to my own life and carry on ignoring him. At least I no longer feel guilty that he might be sad without me… there’s only one bit of him that’s bothered and I don’t care about that but 😂

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