Husband going gym.

[lisalash]

Hi, I'm new here, please go easy.

My husband has just announced he might be joining the gym with a friend.

I’m a SAHM and we have a six year old and a baby under one.

My husband is a family man, and doesn’t really have a social life. I’m feeling very insecure about this now and I’m starting to worry.

I very rarely get out, I don’t really have a life. My life revolves around dirty dishes, dirty nappies and 2 whinging children.

I’m feeling quite resentful of my husband now, he plays football once a week which is more than what I do.

I’m also scared he’ll meet someone else of will be talking to woman down the gym.

Please no nasty comments.

I’m currently sat, waiting for my evening meal to digest…, then I am going to the gym!

I can guarantee there will be no one worth looking at. I’m going because my butt is expanding and I need to get out of the house. My DP will be at home, enjoying his space.

Because there are often lots of nasty comments on MN!

That’s not very helpful and is an example of the nasty comments she worries about. How the OP feels is entirely normal - she needs a break.

OP please take more care of yourself and your needs. The more you do that the less his going to the gym will bother you.

You sound resentful of everything to be honest, and controlling.

Nasty

Find something for you to do.

Same to you.

Ignore the negative comments OP. Xx

My stbx husband met affair partner at the gym so it’s definitely possible he was obsessed with going I wonder why 🤔
However you should both be able to go the gym classes or whatever during the week. I would just have chat and say what you would like to do also and have set days/nights.

It's not nasty to point out that OP is being controlling. If a man didn't trust his wife to go to the gym he would be told the same. Unless OP comes back to her thread to explain why she doesn't trust him, we can only go on what she has said.

There’s nothing wrong with going to the gym and wanting to achieve a healthier body and mind.

You need to take time for yourself also, though.

I doubt he’d get chatting to anyone at the gym tbh, when I go I don’t even make eye contact with anyone else, let alone chat. Headphones on, do what I need to do and then leave.

Gyms aren't that sociable, most are too busy looking at themselves working out and being worn out to want to flirt with anyone. Why aren't you getting the opportunity to out without the kids for a few hours a week?

…and perhaps be a bit more understanding of her feelings.

In that case you ask him to check out prices for family membership so you can go sometimes too. Then he can look after the kids

I wholeheartedly agree! Brilliant, non judgemental advice.

I've been to the gym 5 times a week for the past 2 years, and I haven't even spoken one word to anyone else! Majority of people use headphones, which makes conversation very difficult.

Agree with suggestions about family membership
Some gyms have crèches too

Honestly the gym is the last place to meet someone. Unless you go with a mate, it's quite normal to put headphones on, do what you went there to do and not interact with anyone else.

It sounds like you need some you time. Him going to the gym and football once a week is fine so long as you equally get time to do things for yourself.