Left while pregnant - OW (now GF) pregnant - coping tips

[wonderwhattodo]

As the title says really
Any coping tips

STBX girlfriend (former OW) is due their baby soon

He left me when I was heavily pregnant
Ours was a 25 year relationship. She is 18 years younger than him.

It is very painful that he deserted me in pregnancy and now she is pregnant and he has stayed with her.

Any coping tips?

No really advice but my now ExH did a similar thing - was an EA with an 18 year old whilst I had a newborn. I keep telling myself that he's a twat and DS and I are better off without him. It's really hard and it's taken a while to accept, but looking back there were sooooo many reasons I should have left him.

Good luck!

That's awful OP.

Firstly, acknowledge that you are completely valid in feeling so very hurt by this.

Do you have friends and family to lean on? I'd focus on providing the best life you can for your new baby and get planning finances focussing on practical things you can do.

... and make sure you get your CMS claim in as soon as you can!

A bit of time has passed since he went - way past the newborn stage!
It has helped process it by typing out on here and getting these responses

So is your baby born? What contact does Ex have and support with your baby?

It's hurtful, painful and inconvenient for you, but tbh a man who is knocking on 40 who goes off with a teenager is not a man you want to rely on. This might not be the life you would have chosen, but would it be better if he did this when you had built a family life and had a toddler (or preschooler or primary school kid) you had to explain it to?

I'd recommend not, definitely not, following them on social media to see their pics, or knowing more about their life than you have to. Compartmentalise the whole thing. Make your contact with him only about your child.

Consider some counselling - I think what you're struggling with is the idea that he chose her over you, that you must somehow have less worth than an 18 year old. You don't need to compare yourself to her or judge your own self worth by what your ex did. He went off with her but that doesn't mean she's better than you, maybe he wanted someone he had more power over, maybe they're somehow just suited to each other, maybe he can't cope with his own advancing age and wants to cling on to his youth by being with her. None of it makes you any less marvellous. It does make him seem a bit pathetic.

He thinks he's got a guaranteed carer for when he gets older, but she'll be dumping for a young stud as soon as he starts having erectile dysfunction

As hard as it would be I would be insisting he had 50/50 as soon as dc is old enough...
What a twat op.
Still, now there is a vacancy. She won't ever sleep soundly imo.

Honestly this has helped so much

The kids aren’t tiny any more, sorry to have not been clear
but the replies are just as valid and very helpful

It must be so hard to watch him go through a stage he deserted you for. You got through it though and all credit to you. It's not easy raising kids alone without the trauma and grief you must have been coping with too. I hope for her sake he has changed his ways.

Exactly
you nailed it

I didn’t even realise that was what was at the heart of it
”hard watching him go through a stage he deserted you for”

They are allocating a room for a beautiful nursery
Have had holidays away pre-baby
etc

She had a lot of family around and they have work colleagues in common - I don’t think he would get away with leaving her.

Has helped so much to get these comments!

Deep down she will know that she is in a relationship with a cheat and a liar. She will know that one day he will cheat on her. That will sour every moment of her time with him. Her ‘prize’ is nothing but poison.

Enjoy your baby and being a mother.