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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Can contact go from supervised to indirect?

2 replies

Courtnightmares · 11/01/2023 13:09

Apologies if this is not the correct place to thread.
ExP and I are engaged in court proceedings. Bad domestic violence.
We have both undergone psychological evaluation and the psychologist has determined that he should not have direct contact and only indirect as he is such a risk.
DD is currently having supervised in a contact centre and the report reads that she should not have been placed in this position for the number of years she has been having supervised and there will be no clear way forward out of the contact centre.
The CAFCASS guardian will write the final report but has advised the psychologists report and recommendations will heavily inform hers.
I was just wondering if anyone had any experience of contact reversing?
I feel in a bit of a moral dilemma if I am honest. I want absolutely nothing to do with her father insofar as no communication, no handovers, nothing - but DD has been going to the contact centre for years whilst proceedings have taken place. I felt guilty when I read the report to be honest and have no idea why as this is such a violent person we are talking about (and he was violent towards DD)
I expressed that supervised wasn't feasible long term and if there was no clear and safe way forward towards unsupervised then I am not sure what else there could be.
The psychologist has been very adamant on her recommendation and has informed she will take the stand and be cross examined if required.
Would like to hear anyones thoughts.

OP posts:
Courtnightmares · 11/01/2023 23:07

Bumping

OP posts:
Proteinpudding · 12/01/2023 08:20

It isn't common, but it can be done, and the guardians recommendation and the psychologists recommendation will carry a lot of weight.

I would try and think of the supervised contact as you and the people around your child trying everything to make it work, but having to accept it wasn't enough. Growing up she will know that you tried to support her to have some form of relationship with him in a safe way and that it was beyond your control that it couldn't continue. That's a positive message for a child to hear, instead of wondering if people jumped in and cut contact too quickly.

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