How to fairly split finances?

[lastofthesmalltownplayboys]

Hi, hoping for some outside perspective from some wise mumsnetters please.

I'm moving in with my boyfriend later this year. For several reasons it's likely that I will sell my house and move into his, keeping my equity aside for when we buy together in a couple of years' time.

He has offered to put me on the mortgage but for a few reasons I don't like the idea, so it has been agreed that I will pay him rent and a portion of the bills. The "rent" is to cover essential household maintenance and any non essentials I will contribute to eg. Decorating, plants for the garden etc as we would pay for these if renting and I will benefit from them whilst living there and also make me feel like it is my home and I can make changes if I wish.

I will also pay half of the bills.

So as not to drip feed, he earns roughly twice what I earn and we currently split meals out, food shopping, holidays etc proportionally in line with this.

My question is this: what's reasonable in terms of "rent"? Should this be based on a portion of the mortgage? Going market rate? What we earn? A combination of the two?

In proportion to salary so 1/3 of mortgage and bills.

I'd also have discussion about longer term finances - ring fencing both deposits for shared home, how bills / mortgage would be split then etc. If you're planning dc what will happen (marraige or civil partnership first for your financial protection whether you plan to be sahp or not (plans change!) - please read up on this), who pays what on maternity leave etc etc. Also discuss what would happen if an unplanned pregnancy.

I'm of the firm opinion that if people can swap bodily fluids they should also be capable of discussing finances in detail!!

And remember promises made in love mean absolutely fuck all if love goes!!

Just out of interest why are you selling your home so quickly? Might it not be prudent to rent it for a year or so until you're settled? Feels like you're giving up your investment and he's keeping his.

Also agree with pp , this is not a time to be coy about finances. You need an open and frank discussion that covers all eventualities. I don't know if you have dc, but if you have dc with him please ensure you're thinking of this in relation to the houses.

Thing is - if this relationship works out and you end up buying together, etc - it doesn’t really matter now.
But - in your place - i would be prudent and not plan given only ‘best case’ in mind.

For starters - ‘putting you on his mortgage’ doesn’t give you any rights to the house, if you were to separate. So - if you sell your house now - you will be getting off the housing market, and later on if you do buy - your money in the bank won’t grow at the same rate as the house. (Assuming housing appreciates, obv)

Secondly - fair rent is subjective in this situation. What is your ‘housing cost’ now? I presume you pay a mortgage as part of investing into your property. If you didn’t own - what rent would you consider affordable for yourself?

In your place - I would NOT sell your place. I’d continue paying mortgage, rent it out. I’d split the rental income between you and your bf - as this way you both benefit from reduction of your outgoings spent on housing.

If you do sell - whatever you pay your bf - should not be anywhere close to your current mortgage. As you aren’t investing into your property. And I’d argue it has to be less than what you’d rent for on your own. You are giving up an asset to move in with him, and that needs to be added to the consideration

And - of course - sharing of the ongoing expenses in a proportional way makes sense.