Crippingy insecure

[Needygirl88]

Please be gentle with me as I'm aware of how I am going to sound like a teenager right now. I have an 8 month old with my partner. We have been together for 5 years. My partner has never done anything in this time to make me feel unloved or insecure. He compliments me regularly and again has never given me reason to believe he doesn't find me attractive. But here is the issue. Everyday I seem to have these thoughts that he fancies other women. It makes me feel sick. I could see a pretty woman on Instagram and I will get jealous thinking he will find her more attractive than me
I have a very attractive friend and I've got it in my head now that he thinks she's sexy even though he's only met her once and given no indication that he thinks this. These thoughts seem to consume my mind and its an awful feeling. Realistically I'm aware that of course there are better looking women out there than me but he loves me and has chosen to be with me...but I can't stop these thoughts and their bringing me down. I haven't said anything to him as I'm aware that this is my issue and I really want to solve it on my own. I'm almost 35 so surely I should feel comfortable and secure in my own skin and not like this.

Do you think you might have some PND? I sounds like you have intrusive, obsessive thoughts on this.

I remember when my DD was a baby I sold all my nice clothes from before I was pregnant on Ebay, thinking I would never wear them again. It's a strange time, where your body and life have changed so much. Be kind to yourself, and maybe try to observe yourself having these thoughts as if from outside. That is, don't decide they are facts, but also don't blame yourself for having them.

Get off social media!!!
Honestly this will do you so much good. Speaking from experience
Just try it for 2 weeks if you don't believe me

Sorry to hear you're feeling this way, OP! I think it could be a combination of circumstances like your baby, social media, etc and if you keep worrying like this you will not find joy in daily life.

In my case, it only happened with one specific partner and it wasn't what he said or did to me, but how he looked at other women that made me uncomfortable. You couldn't call it staring but almost. I started to feel awkward when watching films or going to swim with him for example and ended up just not trusting him. I brought it up and got told was insecure. This feeling went away when the relationship ended but regardless I made a point of learning about myself and improving my self-esteem because I did feel insecure.

Regardless if he's doing anything that makes you feel like this or not, work on developing and strengthening yourself! You can't really change that you or your partner might look at someone you perceive as attractive but you can learn to influence these intrusive thoughts by understanding yourself. You can look at a man and find him good looking but that doesn't mean anything and if you love someone you wouldn't do anything about it. Maybe consider professional help if you feel you're not getting better, cut off social media and try to see past your friend's appearance as it might damage your relationship