Breakup - 29 weeks pregnant

[knr23]

So my partner and I are unfortunately going our separate ways due to various disagreements and differences which cannot be resolved. We own a house together and I’m currently 29 weeks pregnant so finding it quite difficult. He’s currently still living at our house as I can’t afford the bills/mortgage on my own so it’s the only option. Moving forward, we’re going to try and co-parent when the baby arrives whilst living in the same house for at least the first 6-9 months to ensure our boy has the best start possible in the circumstances. It’s very difficult on my emotions and heart doing it this way and I know that when we come to sell the house and fully go our separate ways it’ll be like breaking up all over again - but I just don’t know what other option we have?! Additionally, I have no idea what to do at the birth as I 100% want him there as I feel it’s important for him to see his child born, but should I also be asking my mum to be there for support? I don’t know if that would make it awkward for him, but feel like I might need her emotional support.

Sorry for the long post and mind dump! I just wonder if anybody else has had similar experiences and can provide some insight and advice please? 🙏🏼🥺

Hey I just want you to know I was in this exact same position. We split but then stayed in the same house and ended up back together. Mutliple times. And I went through at least 3 or 4 breakups with the same person over and over again, it was horrible. We are literally just finished for good now and my baby is 8 months old, he has just took his stuff from our house today. It is honestly so so hard but if you are sure you won’t be together in future it is better to get away as soon as you can as you will save yourself so much hurt. I wish you all the luck in the world. And I am here for a chat when things get tough. X

I had the same experience as @newlysinglemum94 when DS was born.
My advice would be to try and find a way to make a clean break now to avoid an on/off relationship as it just prolongs the inevitable final breakup.

Hi, that sounds tough. I’d definitely want my mum too in those circumstances. Perhaps he can be outside for most of the labour and come in close to the birth?

Seeing his son born isn't a right. That isn't why men are there. They are there to support the birthing woman.

He won't be your support, so he shouldn't be there. Outside, to meet his baby, by all means. In the room when you are at your most vulnerable, no.

You haven't done this before. Your hormones go all over the shop. You're sweaty, sweary, your nether regions are on full view- you want someone you trust with you at the head end of the operation, not a bloke near your feet waiting for the first glimpse of his kid.

Ideally you could both sell the house quickly and use your profits to rent/downsize to a smaller property, but conscious time is a factor here - and certainly you won't want to be moving and packing in your final trimester.

Could you put the house for sale and stay with your family until it's sold? Living together after a breakup and with a newborn could be tricky. Stay strong!