Help me leave husband, I don't know what to do.

[Letschangemyname]

It was time years ago, I don't know why i've stayed, probably because I've just been in a routine with DC, i've just carried on. But I can't do it anymore, years of emotional abuse, lying, cheating and stealing. I need to leave.
But I don't know what to do. I'm a very mature full time student with a long way to go until I qaulify, relying on him for money to pay all the bills. We live in a private rented property with our children.
There are no others homes suitable here to rent, social housing is only available in unsafe/unsanitary places, I don't want my children anywhere near. My DF lives in a 1 bedroom flat close to us but no other family close to us.
How Do i even get my "ducks in a row". Should stay to try and save up more money?

I'm feeling lost and stuck with no idea where to turn.

If you can't leave now, could you emotionally detach from him and plan to leave as soon as you have qualified?

OP has a long way to go before she qualifies and the longer she remains within this, the harder it will seem to leave.

I would seek legal advice by contacting a local firm of Solicitors when he is out.

I would also contact Womens Aid; they also operate an online chat facility. They can also advise you here.

Speak to Women's Aid.
Save as much as you can - that might be through getting a bit of cash back here are there.
Check the entitled to website to see if you might be able to claim any/more benefits.
Speak to the welfare officer at your university who also might have advice/help to offer.

Just think of it all as baby steps. You will get there, it will be hard but no harder than the life you're living just now.

Make every choice and decision back up the fact that you're out as soon as possible. Don't entrench yourself further with anything joint. Detatch everything that's currently joint. Slowly slowly, seperate finances, and begin to live a seperate life under the same roof as much as possible. Save every penny, get creative, it will add up over time.

Create a friendship circle for support, any energy you put into your relationship with him, spend it bettering your other relationships. It's a long game, and I have played it myself, so I hear you. Don't be dragged back in, if you're resolute and keep going and the time will be right for you, and you will be ready.

Thank you for your advice, I think I will speak with woman's aid, I just can't see a way out.

Unfortunately your best option is to put the studying on hold and get a job.
While I fully appreciate your course may lead to employment you have to choose to study or leave your husband, I don’t see how you can do both

“Unfortunately your best option is to put the studying on hold and get a job.
While I fully appreciate your course may lead to employment you have to choose to study or leave your husband, I don’t see how you can do both”

I think it’s this.

My education is already paid for, I feel that would be a waste of a lot of time and money already gone in. When ultimately I will get a better job to support myself and my children.

years of emotional abuse, lying, cheating and stealing.
Let him fund you until you finish uni, then you can can move on, it's the least the rat can do.

How are things ? What did you decide to do ? I hope you found the courage to leave .

Can you defer your studies, even if its been paid for, that's an option. Speak to Student union possibly ( or similar) and seek support there too. They can and will help you. Maybe a year out to work, get your finances on track will help?

I havnt left, but I'm trying to get my ducks in a row, just saving up as much money as I can, I'm not really sure what my plan is, only that I know I will have more options the more money I have.

You will know when the time is right .

GreenManalishi
gives good advice there

start investing now into the life without him
detach and lean out
get onto the freedom programme it’s very empowering

i had a ‘splitting uk ‘ action file for a few years before I was brave enough to end it
take baby steps

So it sounds like your options are stay with him until your complete your studies and find work or postpone / cancel studies in order to get back to work so you can leave sooner. I think you need to decide which is the least worst option.