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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Totally overwhelmed

1 reply

Rosebel · 08/01/2023 21:33

Wasn't even really sure where to post but I need to get this off my chest. I feel exhausted, stressed and overwhelmed.
My DS is 2. He barely eats or sleeps but does have energy to run round all d8. He doesn't really talk apart from odd words and it does sometimes sound like he's repeating words. We're still waiting for an appointment from speech and language and supposed to see paediatric doctor this month (not heard anything though).
My DD is autistic and is going through some changes at school which is always a worry for her and she has had a couple of meltdowns recently which hasn't happened for a couple of years until now.
Eldest DD has self harmed in the past and she seems okay at the moment but am very aware of making time for her as I feel her brother and sister take a lot of my time and attention.
On top of this I'm worried about my parents. Mum has had a few falls and hurt herself quite badly. Dad is looking after her and doing everything in the house really. I try to go over every week but it's difficult. I offer to help where I can but Dad doesn't like accepting help.
I work 35 hours a week, job is stressful but I do like it, apart from the added responsibility I've been given recently. But it's hard and full on. Absolutely no down time.
I feel like I never get a break. Either working or dealing with the kids oir my parents. I do have a DH but he works less hours does no nursery runs and won't look adter DS on his own.
I feel burnt out. I just need help and to hear from people who have been through something similar and how you coped.

OP posts:
newyearsamesh1t · 08/01/2023 22:04

I hear you, I tend to be the primary care giver to asd child and it's hard! Have you tried to speak to your DH to explain that you need a break? Doesn't have to be much, even a day getting pampered or an afternoon tea with a friend could give you head space and time to be you. I think many men still expect women to be the main care giver without thinking, so make him think. Myself and DH have had blazing rows about this as he says he does help but I know he reflects on this because he then takes a lot of the chores and parenting on afterwards. I don't know if you do what I do, I often take over for an easy life and this makes mum doing everything the norm and is something I am trying to work on. Maybe take a couple of days off work and spend the time on self care.

I hope things improve for you x

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