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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Husband problems

6 replies

oneexcuseafteranother · 08/01/2023 18:06

I'm not going to call him DH as per the norm I'm sticking with H! So, for the past two years H has worked a very low paid part-time job as he's supposed to be setting up a business. However, two years later he only has one small job and has taken absolutely no action to build a business. I am more than sick and tired of asking him how things are going and what his next steps are. He starts shouting and saying I'm repeating myself all the time by asking him when he's going to get more work in. The problem is we are struggling for money and I am really outside of my comfort zone in a job I've really had to step up to whilst he's not trying at all. Along with this we argue every day and haven't slept together for 8 years! I am absolutely sick and tired and so stressed out with constant arguments which is no good for DC. I really want to split but he refuses to leave and I don't know what to do from here. This is really affecting my health. I do suffer with anxiety but pretty much get on with things as I'm sure most of us have to!

He keeps saying he going to do XZY but then takes absolutely no action and always has a rubbish excuse why he hasn't increased or built the business he was meant to be building.

I am so desperate to be rid of him it's been going on for years! Going in circles, excuse after excuse. It's really affecting my health and I know it's awful for DC. help!

OP posts:
frozendaisy · 08/01/2023 18:08

So you and DC move.
Sounds like you earn the cash.

If owned house buy him out.
If rented hand in notice once you have found an alternative.

This isn't a marriage by the way.

PussInBin20 · 08/01/2023 18:10

Sounds like you need to get the ball rolling then to split up. You don’t need his permission or agreement. Just get some Solicitor’s advice and go from there. Good luck!

oneexcuseafteranother · 08/01/2023 18:20

I don't earn enough to buy him out or pay all the bills myself. I wish it was that easy. He has more earning capacity than I do but just isn't doing anything about it.

OP posts:
Nanny0gg · 08/01/2023 18:28

oneexcuseafteranother · 08/01/2023 18:20

I don't earn enough to buy him out or pay all the bills myself. I wish it was that easy. He has more earning capacity than I do but just isn't doing anything about it.

Have you looked at what benefits you'd be entitled to?
Can you afford a meeting with a solicitor?

Temporaryname158 · 08/01/2023 18:28

If you do not earn enough you would be entitled to universal credit, child benefit, child maintenece and be free of him. Look into your options further and serve the divorce papers, he can’t ignore that

Blobblobblob · 16/04/2023 20:15

If you can't buy him out, then have a look at what you can afford if the house is sold and split.

Is there any risk he could claim to be the main carer for any children?

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