NC as don't want this linked to my other threads, as I am don't trust exDP not looking.
Finally reached breaking point. And need to now follow through with this being over. I need some hand holds to do this as I feel completely sick.
Been together 6 years ish, kids but none together. It has had its ups and downs as blended life does, but things have increasingly become worse.
Money is not great, we pay 50/50 but sometimes I am left paying more without any discussion about this. If I bring it up I just get told it'll be sorted but then it isn't.
It all came to a head yesterday, I tried to do something nice for us, for a birthday and got the shittiest reaction ever, for no reason. Tried to discuss and got nowhere, I was upset, he didn't care. Just kept going at me. So I cancelled it, then got had a go at for that, even though that's what he clearly wanted. It escalated from there with shouting and then being spoken to like an absolute piece of shit, which always happens. Get called names, told I'm wrong (when I know I'm not) gaslighting basically, making me think I can't remember what happened or that things were different to how I know they were.
I got spoken to like shit in front of my son, and he was looking at me like what is going on, so that was final straw for me. My son shouldn't think it's acceptable to speak to a woman like that.
I have also noticed as times gone on, we have a lot of differing opinions and some of his have now escalated into the territory IMO of being sexist, racist and homophobic. I don't want that in my or my kids lives either, as we couldn't be more opposite to that in our views.
I don't feel he makes the effort with my family, which is very important to me, or my friends which is less important as I am happy to see them alone. But I make lots of effort with/for his family.
I feel like I walk on eggshells a lot about decisions I make with my kids cause I know he won't agree with them, and then have to prepare myself for a debate about it when frankly they are my kids and I'll do as I like with them.
I've just had enough, I would rather be alone than deal with this.
It's going to be a bit of a struggle, there is debt that's been accumulated I will be left with. He will effectively be able to walk away, no consequences other than the fact the house is mine, and start again. But I have decided it is now worth it. I will get myself back on my feet in time and I need to realise what is the most important thing, happiness, my kids, my morals, dignity etc. and put my big girl pants on. But I need some moral support for this! So I have come to get some.