How do I help my son?

[Jozn]

So… I have a 13 year old son. I am married to father but it’s a fractious relationship. Son now witnesses the arguments. It’s won’t be easy to split, please can I have suggestions on how I help my son cope with what he sees/hears/has said to him (not from me). I just want to help him cope.

He’s likely been witness to you people arguing for far longer than either of you care to realise.

What do you want to teach your son about relationships and what is he learning here?. He needs to know that his parents disintegrating marriage is not his fault in any way.

You will help him far more in the long run by getting away from his dad on a day to day basis.

Thanks for your reply, I need to consider this.

You either need to leave with your child, or ask your soon to be ex to leave.

Do you have family you can escape to? Any friends? Just so we can help form an escape plan for you.

I don’t have family or friends nearby and think I have a fear of change, which isn’t helping me. But think I need reassurance that change can be for the better - for my son, not mw.

You have GOT to put your son before a fear of change. This is NOT a choice. You can DO this, I promise you, you can do it.

www.womensaid.org.uk/

Have a good look over this site, and keep posting here for support. Is your husband physically violent or is it purely nasty arguments and psychological abuse? Writing it down can often help figure out where to start first.

You don't have the luxury of staying put because of your insecurities. Your child is being abused and witnessing abuse. You must act now and get him away from this situation.

Take the Freedom Program, and get counselling for your son. Give him the opportunity to have someone to talk to that isn't involved.
www.freedomprogramme.co.uk/

OP, helping your son 'cope' with arguments which he is distressed by hearing us going to cause serious emotional issues for him down the line. No child should have to have coping mechanisms in place for their parent's arguments. They are being abused by witnessing the abuse of another parent. You must leave and do so safely. Contact women's aid and they will be able to help you. Please do this for the sake of your child.