DH & I both work FT, and have a young family.
We both share the 'doing' of daily stuff, eg cooking, pickup etc. However the mental load is always me. E.g Christmas presents, planning holiday cover, birthday parties, paying for school clubs etc etc. All the stuff behind the scenes to keep us ticking over.
An example....we attended a large family event pre Christmas and we needed to get some presents for the kids (8 in total). The event is in both our diaries. I am the one that thinks we need to get some presents, buys presents. The day before the event I start wrapping them and he comes over and offers to give me a hand. He makes a comment 'gosh I didn't realise there were so many to wrap' which in my head I think 'well if you thought about it and planned it you would' .
This year I am planning on trying to make visible the load by writing everything down and sitting with him once a week to decide who tackles what. Christmas made me realise how for granted he takes what I do and not really appreciated.
He was off this week with the kids and i was away with work. I asked for two things to be done. The kids do their thank you cards (they are young and need his help) and can a prescription be collected for me at the chemist.
Neither has been done. I will have to go out shortly to get the prescription as they close at lunchtime. When away with work I spent the evening paying for the after care clubs despite both of us getting the email.
It is really getting me down. My job is full on and takes alot of my headspace. There is more to running our home than the cooking and cleaning. When I argue back I get accused of being hyper critical so I feel I have to be careful in the way I respond.
I am not sure really what to do with this.