Me and my mum have NOTHING in common

[MrsSnape]

Me and my mum didn't used to have a great relationship but we have come closer over the past few years and now see each other around twice a week. Thing is, we have nothing in common and its starting to show.

If I phone her to tell her something I feel is important she gives a quick "oh right" and then starts rattling on about stuff she thinks is important, usually stuff to do with the house (i.e. "I've changed those red curtains to the blue curtains and moved that sideboard a few inches to the left and it makes such a difference....!) etc.

She also has a tendancy to go on and on and on about the past which often involved repeating the same stories over and over again. One story inparticular I swear she has told me around 30 times. I'm different, I like to talk about the present and the future.

Today I tried to engage in conversation by telling her how nervous I was about my karate grading (coming up soon) and she gave an uninterested "oh" and changed the subject to stuff like "remember that dog you used to have?"

I tried again by telling her that my university assignment was late and that I was worrying about it and again she just said "oh" and changed the subject. I told her I didn't know what course to do next and she tried to act interested by saying "are they all really hard? i dont know much about them" but I could tell she wasn't really interested.

I suppose I feel it more at the moment as I have no other adult to talk to about stuff. Nobody is interested in the karate (fair enough, its not everyones cup of tea) but I just feel like I have nothing in common with anyone which makes me feel a little isolated.

Does anyone else have this kind of relationship with their mum?

I have the same..no advice to offer other than I ring her cos I feel like its my duty.I tell her what she needs to know and nothing more.Then proceed to listen how no one sees her or talks to her yet everytime I call she is engaged on one of her 40 minute calls to her friends,Then I get all the random shit and it really is shit about this cow of a woman and that cow of a woman,,who did what to who then how she went to see and had a lovely afternoon with the woman who had been a cow not 5 mins before...its just all so pointless.I feel like she is happy in her negitivity with people she knows and doing the same thing day in day out never trying anything new cos she won't like it.She has known me for nearly 50 years and what she thinks she knows about me and my life are so far removed from what she actually knows.I just like I say do my duty and switch off.All of it is a totally pointless exercise.

I know what you mean, OP. I do think it's an age thing with my mum though. Especially repeating the same old stories for the upteenth time, that defo gets worse with age. I think my Mum's main problem is that her world is shrinking so has less to talk about. In her case, that means talking almost exclusively about Strictly Come Dancing, Dancing on Ice, X Factor, Britain's Got Talent, The Voice or Eggheads - none of which I watch or have any interest in whatsoever! I find it very hard to fake interest in Claudia Winkleman's dress or whatever happens to have caught her interest.

I'm definitely interested in hearing about my own children's interests in great detail, however, including uni course work etc. (Also when they used to do karate as I did karate too, so could help them practice kata and pair techniques!) I hope I always will be as interested in them and their activities.

No real advice on what to do to make your Mum more interested in something which she is not. Reading with interest to see if other posters have any ideas. It is tiresome.

This is a zombie thread that was started over a decade ago.