I have a separate thread on a specific issue with my wife. The thread has expanded a lot, so I'd like to ask these very questions separately, also because they are more generic and don't apply only to my very specific case:
I would like us to undergo some form of couples counselling / therapy; my questions are:
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For those who have done it, how did you choose a counsellor / therapist?
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Are there specific forms of therapy / schools of thought so you may know you might be more comfortable with one than the other? Eg those who focus more on the past and those who focus less?
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What is needed (in England) to become counsellor / therapist? Are they all trained psychologists? Should we watch out for unqualified clowns claiming they are 'counsellors'?
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If you contacted multiple counsellors, how did you choose yours? Other than based on fees and location. Did you have an introductory chat before deciding to go with them? Did you review their CV (I wouldn't have the qualifications to understand much)?
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Is it ethical for a therapist to express opinions on when to keep trying and when to just leave the marriage? Other than in self-cases of obvious violence and abuse, clearly. Maybe it's a silly question, but I'm wondering to what extent the choice of the 'wrong' therapist could mean we just spend too much time trying to salvage an un-salvageable relationship, or, at the other extreme, that we leave a relationship which could, in fact, have been saved.
PS I would really not want this thread to go off-topic. Those who'd like to comment on my case (especially those with strong opinions :) ) are welcome to do so in the other thread. In my mind, this one should be useful to anyone considering therapy, even if they know nothing about what my issue is. Thank you.