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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Non mol order help

6 replies

Fullofconfusion · 05/01/2023 22:37

I’m wondering if anyone can offer some advice.

Background info, split from husband last year after he cheated on me. He’s since shown himself to be a total narcissist and on and off harassed me all of last year. Eventually he ramped up the emotional abuse late last year and I ended up calling the police on him. He’s currently on bail terms stating that he can’t contact me or be anywhere near me. The bail terms run out soon and instead of pressing charges through the police I intended to apply for a non molestation order. The police constable dealing with me encouraged me to do this and put me in touch with a domestic abuse charity.

Someone at the charity told me (a couple of months ago) that I couldn’t apply for a non mol order whilst he was under bail terms so she would get someone to contact me closer to the time. I’ve spoken to a IDVA from the same charity today who has told me that because there have been no incidents during the bail terms that I can’t apply for a non mol order. Apparently there needs to have been an incident within the last 4 weeks. This seems like totally contradictory advice and now I don’t know what to do!

The bail terms will end very soon and according to the charity I can’t apply for a non mol order until he does something else. This just doesn’t seem right? I’d be basically opening myself up to emotional abuse before I could try and do something to prevent this. Does anyone have any experience of this sort of situation? Im going to speak to a solicitor as soon as I can but wondered if anyone know if what the IDVA has said today is true and I can’t actually apply now.

OP posts:
DancingLedgend · 05/01/2023 22:40

If you get MNHQ to move this post to Legal, you could get advice from solicitors who hang out there.

Fullofconfusion · 05/01/2023 22:44

Thank you…I’m new to this so will do that

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RandomMess · 05/01/2023 22:53

I would speak to Rights of Women tomorrow Flowers

Dery · 05/01/2023 23:39

Have you spoken to the NCDV about this? The firm I work for does pro bono work for the NCDV and I have some experience of helping NCDV clients draft applications. We quite often prepare papers while bail conditions apply and explain that the client wants the protection of the non-mol for when the bail conditions expire. In any case, breaching bail conditions is not an arrestable offence whereas breaching a non-mol is so non-mols potentially offer greater protection.

I don’t think your application is bound to fail just because he’s not done anything while under bail conditions. That just means the bail conditions are working for now but who knows what will happen when he is no longer subject to them.

I suggest speaking to the NCDV and seeing what they have to say about it.

Dery · 05/01/2023 23:40

www.ncdv.org.uk/contact/

Fullofconfusion · 05/01/2023 23:43

Thank you both for the links.
I really appreciate it.
I haven’t spoken to either of these organisations so will be sure to give them a call tomorrow

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