Social media in relationships

[ok1992]

Now I don't ask for me to be splashed all over my husbands Facebook/instagram but he doesn't have any pics currently of us on there.

But my question is would it annoy you if a woman albeit a stranger comments the 😍 emoji under his photo?

My husband is Nigerian and all of a sudden has had a influx of Nigerian women friends request which he has accepted. And comments on his pictures stating think you need to check your message requests, I don't know if his picture has been shared somewhere for all the friends request to of happened suddenly.

I'm quite a private person and I thought he was too so I'm abit annoyed about this.

Am I being silly ?

Tell him it annoys you, the reason why, and ask if he would be happy if you had a load of men doing the same to you?

Do you think I am right though? Or being ott ?

On the face of it I wouldn't be happy, but It's difficult to say without a bit more context.

You say your husband is Nigerian - I assume you're not or you would have said "we", so could they be old school friends or something like that? If so i would expect to also see a lot of new men as well as women appearing, are there?

Also you say there's no pic if you on his Social media - is he generally active or is it just that he hardly ever posts anything? If he's active but not menition you at all that would be a big red flag for me

Yes your correct I am British and he is Nigerian, I wouldn't say he is too active, he post maybe one a week if that.
All these friend requests happened in a day or so and I'm talking like 30 plus women - all Nigerian and the comments too, so I'm thinking he had his pictured shared to some page for it to happen.
I'm just annoyed he accepted the requests.
And annoyed and the comments especially asking him to check his messages.

I’d be annoyed at him if he’s engaging with them. It’s disrespectful to you if he is. Some women have no decorum

You do realise men and women can be friends, right?

Unless your partner has form for cheating, there's no reason to be concerned.

But that is the thing I don't think I could or should blame them if there is nothing on his page to say he is in a relationship or married so they may think he is single and available and are trying there look.

They are not his friends though they are strange women adding him to social media.

OP I would not be happy either. No need for him to have accepted the requests. I would tell him to delete them to be honest.

That's what I'm trying to say, they are not his friends and it's a lot of women to accept or even want to have on his page for someone that doesn't post too much.

Why people do that I’ll never know. Adding random people (in my experience it’s always been members of the opposite sex) Is not good. Why add random people you don’t know? IMO he shouldn’t be accepting them and it’s disrespectful to you. I don’t have my relationship status up for public view and I’m in a relationship but I don’t accept randomners on my page

Yeah exactly how I feel .. disrespected. Especially with the comments and all the likes on his pictures from all these women that he never had before.
And the one comment that stood out was the "think you need to check your message requests"
At first I though I was just being slightly jealous.

Oh come off it.
30 women on the same day aren't falling over themselves to befriend OP's H.
He's being scammed.

He sounds a bit foolish and like he's looking for an ego boost from randoms. Yes, that would annoy me.

Dh doesn't really have many photos of us on social media. Unless I take them and tag them in them. Because he doesn't really use social media. And frankly, I don't tend to tag him in anything anymore because of stalker family members (my social media is locked down very tightly, but I never know with dh if he may have changed his privacy settings for any reason).

But engaging with loads of random women (who are likely to be dudes looking for someone to catfish for a romance scam anyway!) is a bit stupid and juvenile. He's going to be mighty embarrassed in the end. But yes, it's disrespectful.

I don't know curiosity did make me look on some of the women's profiles and they do look legitimate.

Unless your husband is some kind of inexplicably gorgeous Adonis then I’m going to guess that all these women are bots / fake profiles chasing for the monetisation that a large network and lots of interaction brings. The “check your DMs” and friendship requests to complete strangers is a massive giveaway for this. So on that front, I don’t think you need to worry.

But yes: absolutely ask him outright why he’s accepting friend requests from women he doesn’t know. The answer, obviously, is that he’s flattered and getting an ego boost because he thinks these are real women who are interested in him and it makes him feel good. But see what explanation he tries to come up with to avoid saying that.

Tell him that accepting random requests from any old Tom, Dick and Harriet leaves him wide open to account hackers and scammers. He should be more responsible with his use of social media. All his random' 'friends' could access your account too so make sure your privacy settings are set tight

In my experience if I've friended someone ( which I hardly ever do ) I then get a load of random requests from distant mutuals