Sibling issue

[Squirespot]

So, for many years I have done and arranged everything within my family, this culminated in a massive fall out last year, where I was told by two other siblings that I "take on too much" and "should ask for more help".

So, I have done this, I have just held back not put my head above the parapet and to be honest felt a lot better for it. However, it seems that my family are not happy with this either.

Until today, when there is a family situation that needs sorting, my Dsis said many months ago, she would sort it, but of course this hasn't happened and I have received further correspondence that it needs to be addressed.

So, I told her I had another letter, she then called me and the way in which she spoke to me was unbelievable. She was so short with me, she said well you dealt with a similar situation (which I did but this was about 5/6 years ago, so I don't remember the process). She is like "I literally have no idea what to do", well neither do I, but I said speak to XYZ and they will be able to guide you. I also said that I would check emails, to see it I have anything, but of course it is so long ago, I have nothing.

Honestly, I am damned if I do and damned if I don't, I left it I will look in my emails, which I have.

Should I just scan across the letter and say, just contact them?

I am genuinely really upset with how she spoke to me, it was not a "conversation", it was her "barking" at me, that she didn't know what to do. I cannot sort everything for everyone any more, so they need to research and find things out themselves?

Or should I call her back and say "please don't talk to me like that again?"

A fairly common response to being taken at one's word!
It must be so tempting to retort "Be careful what you wish for".
I think your response, in passing on all the information you can to be helpful, is the best course of action. Your DS is probably torn between wanting your help, as she now realises how useful it was, and not wanting to lose face by admitting it.
Let her sort that one out for herself, remaining courteous if she wants to be in touch, but withdrawing, equally courteously, if she is rude to you. It's up to her to contact you.

I was courteous but I don't feel it. Honestly, it's one thing that she said she would do and still somehow it ends up causing me grief and upset.

She has now messaged and said "should I contact XYZ (someone different)" and do I know "this information", I feel like saying contact whoever you want, just get it sorted, it's not a difficult task.

"I know as little as you do about this, sorry. Suggest you start by ringing XYZ and take it from there"

Keep bouncing it all back that way.

Yes, this is good.

Should I also raise the way in which she spoke to me? I feel I always let her get away with it, end up upset and backing down.

I don't want a huge row, but do want to be respected and not barked at.

"Should I contact XYZ?"
"That sounds like a plan" - or "I'm sure you'll do what you think is best."
"Do you know this information?"
"Sorry, no"
I suspect she is trying to manoeuvre you into saying something that she can later quote as "Squirespot told me to take this course of action"; she wants to be in charge without carrying the can!
Also galling for her that she isn't provoking a retort so that she can complain that "Squirespot was really rude to me when I just asked a simple question!"

Push her into a ceramic dog bowl, she’ll get the message