Narcissism

[WaterfallToo]

I'm not sure if this is the right place for this. However, I'd like to try and find some answers to my questions. I have googled but I wonder if others have any experience.

Firstly, I do think we throw out the word narcissist too much at times. However, I honestly believe I have experienced it twice in two different people. This leads me to wonder if, for some people, narcissism is situational or others (me) are more susceptible to being on the receiving end of narcissist behaviours/traits.

Could it be that the person who displays the narcissists traits only shows it to people who are susceptible to it? Or are they like it to everyone they meet and whether it goes full blown depends on the strength and boundaries displayed by the person on the receiving end.

I don't want to find myself in the position I have again. It has hit me hard, made me question my sanity and put me on ADs just to help me through. I am finally coming out the other side of it but it has been a lesson I don't wish to repeat. I am only just beginning to feel better because I have come to the conclusion that for a second time I have been affected by another narcissistic personality. Whilst I can recognise on paper that is what has happened (and I do truly understand that) I am finding it hard to believe that it has happened and that it is narcissism again.

It's probably on a scale IMO. Some people are narcissistic to the core. Others display tendancies when under pressure or in specific situation s. Some are just a bit selfish. If your considering a relationship with a suspected narc than ask yourself would u run a restaurant with this person....

Most people have some degree of narcissistic traits, and to a certain extent we’d all be complete pushovers if we didn’t. We all need at least an element of ‘me first’ to survive and thrive. When the ‘me first’ becomes extreme - as in ‘me first at all costs’ that’s where it becomes dangerous. People ‘high’ on the narc spectrum tend to be intelligent and charming. It’s one of the reasons they draw us in. As long as they’re kept at arms length they may never appear to be more than an intelligent charming person to the lay observer. Close relationships can be destructive as they see others as playthings - to play with and manipulate until they want a shiny new toy and then you have outlived your usefulness and are discarded. Other people are bit part actors in the narc’s saturated technicolour movie biopic. It’s very difficult to deal with because it seems cruel and irrational - and it is. There is no sense in trying to seek logical explanations for their actions because there are none. They live in their own fantasy land where they are the emperor and everything is about being on top/the best.

People can have narcissistic traits (ego and self-absorbed) without having NPD.

I've only met one person I feel has NPD. I saw a therapist for over a year who strongly believed he had it based on his messages and behaviour.

He had a history of abusive relationships with women, very charming for the first few months, then progressively emotionally abusive. Viewed everyone as 'supporter' or 'enemy.'

They go for empathetic people with poor boundaries. People who'll sympathise with them and tolerate bad behaviour.