Am I overreacting or in my rite

[noregretsinlife]

Looking for some advice as to whether I’m overreacting here or if I’m in my rite to be annoyed! My partner is in prison has been for over 2 months now his mobile phone is in his prison property along with his clothes I have everything else belonging to him..I lost my purse just before Christmas witch had my bank card and my partners bank card in.. we managed to get a new one sent out but in order to activate the bank card wee need his mobile phone to go on to the Monzo banking app.. witch i said I don't mind doing as I am his partner but he for what ever reason doesn’t want me to get his phone from his property in the prison but yet wants me to be in control off the bank card sending money in etc I feel like he’s got something in that phone he’s not wanting me to see I find it so strange that he wouldn't want me to He’s suggested everyone else to get it just to go onto an app and activate a card witch I can do he has suggested his friends to collect it apart from me his girlfriend for over 2 years but wants me to do everything else apart from get a hold off his mobile? There is some private photos and videos off us in there so why would he want to risk anyone seeing them I’m so confused and feel like he’s hiding something becouse it's been a straight no when I offered to do this he needs to get into the app there is no other way to activate his card without it! I asked him why he wouldn't want me to do this he said becouse he doesn't no who would have messaged him that to me is really strange

The man is in prison, yet you cannot work out why he would want to keep secrets from you?

This man is no good for you.

Why is money going into his account that you can’t access? Get your own account and dump him ffs

Just load the app on your phone, get the passwords from him, sorted

but i would also be opening my own account and not putting anything in his!

He's told you why he doesn't want you to have his phone: he doesn't know what texts are on there (old or new). My best guest would be texts to/from other women, or details about crime or people that he doesn't want you to know about. You must have your own suspicions?

You have a few options: keep going on about the phone, making yourself miserable, with probably no resolve; forget about it until you can speak to him properly (ie when he's out), or go no contact until he gives you access to the phone.

What's he in prison for?

Is this really how you want to spend your life?

The bigger issue is that he’s in jail, it’s like you breezed over that. I would be finding ways to financially separate from him and dump him, not be his secretary

Wow look at these idiots on here suggesting you dump him because he's been in prison for two months and without knowing the context. With the stupid laws in this country you can go to prison for self defence.

MN is definitely a men hating site.

OP, pay no attention to those asking about his prison sentence.

It sounds like he's okay with anyone but you looking at it, which means there is very likely things on it that he doesn't want you to see.

Is cheating a concern for you, as in it something you've had to cope with before from him?

If it is, then it's likely there's things on there he definitely doesn't want you to see, and you're going to need to ask him directly.

He would rather someone else went looking through his phone and found intimate/naked/sexual photos/videos of you/him/you and him than risk you reading his texts.

I think that tells you everything you need to know tbh.

Either he cheated on you, gas been trying to cheat on you or has lied to you about something serious that he doesn't want you to know about. Perhaps in relation to his crimes. Or maybe he

I mean, you don't need to know why, he's already lierally told you he's keeping secrets from you.

*or maybe he slags you off to his mates or maybe those personal pictures you took with him...he shared them with other men and doesn't want you to know. If he is in jail for a sex crime, you can bet its the later btw. And you should tell the police your suspicions.

Oh he's definitely hiding something on that phone. He has basically told you, but you don't seem to want to accept it.

Get a separate account, don’t be joined with him financially.

And tell him if he doesn’t trust you to have his phone then he doesn’t trust you to have his bank card and send him money. He can’t have it both ways.

i would say that there are texts and/or photos to other women

Straight up tell him the secrecy around the phone means you either see the phone or you're done.

This.

And you say he wants you to be in control of the bank card to send money in to him?

Very simple then. He lets you get the phone to activate it. Or you won't be sending in any more money.

Tell him, no phone, no money. Stand your ground. And if he still refuses, I think you should seriously nconsider walking away from this one. He is hiding something on his phone he doesn't want you to see. There is only one reason for that, and its not in your favour.

You could also tell threaten him you need his phone to delete the intimate pictures of you that are on it. If he refuses, tell him you'll need to report this (which won't look very good for him will it) as he'll have images stored you have not consented to him having. Just say you think hes distributed them - thats a crime, and the police will have to check the phone.

I expect he'll let you have it then.

I feel like he’s got something in that phone he’s not wanting me to see

Nooooo, surely not! 😲

Why can't you just call up the bank and activate it on the phone?

There's other ways than just the app to activate a card. Think of all the older people who don't have smart phones etc.

It can be done on the phone. If it'a not jointly your account, do yourself a favour and get your own account. Why wouldn't you?

You have to activate Monzo on the app.

Why are you standing by him op?

You've been with him 2 years and he's in prison? Seriously, get another boyfriend.

Have I gone back in time and woken up in an episode of the Jeremy Kyle Show?