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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Pain during sex Postpartum

6 replies

MakeTheOwStop · 04/01/2023 15:43

TMI alert. I will be going into detail. If that grosses you out please see yourself out.

I’m 18 months postpartum and sex still hurts in certain positions! I had a stage 1 tear with 1 stitch that healed very quickly. It is not pressure it is pain. It didn’t bother me before because frankly I was too tired and busy with the baby to care but now that my sex drive is back and the baby is older and has a more regulated sleep schedule It’s really getting to me.

If we do girl on top it doesn’t bother me as much but sometimes he likes to be on top and when we do that it’s almost unbearable!

I will be frank he is blessed which doesn’t help. When we first got together sex hurt all the time no matter how gentle or slow he was with me. But rather than passing it I would describe it more as being uncomfortable. After about a week my body would adjust and it wouldn’t be a big deal anymore. (no pun intended). When we go through dry spells and get back to it the same thing happens.

I was hoping with time my body would readjust like maybe it wasn’t used to it? But it’s been two months and it’s not going away. How normal is this? I’m scared of getting surgery. Not to mention the health care system is very overburdened here in canada so I’m thinking even if I seek treatment I might be old and grey by the time they get around to helping me.

OP posts:

bellinisurge · 04/01/2023 15:46

Seek treatment. Please.

stbmum · 04/01/2023 15:50

You need professional advice and examination, without that you could be given the wrong advice on here.

bellinisurge · 04/01/2023 15:53

Also : enough with "the health system is overburdened here in Canada ". This is an important health matter and needs attention.

Original poster

MakeTheOwStop · 04/01/2023 16:04

@stbmum you’re right I suppose I just wanted to know if anyone has had this resolve on its own but maybe I’m fooling myself. 😔

@bellinisurge I guess I should it just seems like there are so many other more important things than this… But also my family doctor is a male and I’m really uncomfortable bringing it up to him. But I also really want to be intimate with my husband like we used to. 😣

OP posts:

KinkyMom · 04/01/2023 17:47

I’ve gone through similar OP… I have no advice as it’s still not resolved. I do hope you get the help you need.

Amyp1234 · 16/01/2025 21:27

Hi, how did you get on?
I'm 18 months post partum and I'm in the same position! It's getting me so down. I get so anxious when we do the deed and sometimes it does tear a tiny bit during. Only way to describe, is the pain is same as a paper cut. And on odd occasions, it has a little tear after the deed as I've noticed a tiny amount of blood.
We have had sex aplenty of times since having our DD and it's been the same every time. I haven't seeked medical advice as I kept telling myself, this must be normal and will heal eventually. But now I'm thinking 18 months down the line is not normal?

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