Hi there, I need some advice.
I have a crush on my coworker since September (but we know/work together since 2019). We work for the same company, him as a gardner and me as the manager of the company's store. He comes to the store to help me move heavy furniture or install some stuff when I need an employee. We only see each other at work. And we never text, call or hang out outside work.
Three months ago, I needed an employee to help me change the exhibition, he went to ask his subordinate if he could come help me on that day. When he comes, he usually stays a little bit longer, says doesn't matter extra hours, ask me if I need more help to change that or this and often stays one hour more.
Since September, he displays every signs of attraction, sometimes he looks nervous, have eyebrows shaking(really), he smiles A LOT and loughs with me, he makes jokes, teases me, stares at me, touches his beard or fixes his outfit when talking to me, he makes much eye contact when he tells me his stories, But, he never compliments me on my appearance and never touches me (except: when we install or move furniture, we accidentally touch arms, hand or shoulder and he doesn't move back, on the contrary he tends to linger in..) He asks questions about my past relationship (I was still married when we knew each other), about my ex-husband he once saw a long time ago, he asked three times if we are still together, (he didn't get the fact that I'm actually divorced and "single" for one year).
I feel chemistry, we cling, we laugh a lot together and always have something to talk about. I like him very much.
So, last October I decided to make a move. I told him to call me sometime to go have a drink. And 3 weeks later, he called me on a Sunday night 6 pm. I didn't hear the call. So he texted me "Hi" 15 minutes later. One hour after his call, I replied, "Hi", but he didn't answer. The next day, on Monday, I called him for work-related stuff and when I asked him did you call me yesterday, he pretended that it was work related but that he forgot it was Sunday…
After that we have been working together many times and I decided to make a last move on him. One night I asked him, don't you want to go have a fondue (Swiss speciality) tonight with me? and he said, "No tonight I can't, I have something up", with a annoyed tone, which was strange to me, like I bothered him by asking... I decided then to leave him alone and not make any more move on him.>> not interested, was clear to me...
BUT, then came the company’s Christmas party. I decided to go but leaving him alone. During the whole evening he stared at me a lot from across the room, and also at that moment when I was speaking and laughing with others male coworkers he didn't look away for about 5 minutes... When me and my 5 (girls) coworkers were dancing, he approached and began dancing with us (no other guys around, just him) and after 10 minutes took my hands to dance with me. I have to mention that he is shy and introverted kind of personality.
5 days later, I mentioned a IKEA furniture I couldn’t manage to build for my kitchen. In the second, he proposed to come to my home to help me fix it without me having to ask him. That evening, once we finished, he said with hesitation he might go. Still, I offered him a glass of wine and he accepted, but nothing happened, we just talked for 30-45 minutes or so and then he left. Before leaving, standing at the door, he looked for a long moment at his phone with a blank stare, like he was about to say something?.. (he usually waits some minutes or comes back with something to say before leaving... )
Two weeks later, on the first of January, he send me a Happy new year text... (first time he does in three years) We usually never call or text outside work stuff. I just replied, thank you, you too.... that's the last time I heard from him.
Once he told me about his past relationships. For 10 years he is in Switzerland, he had no girlfriend. He is 40. He had 2 in his home country, but one of them didn't want sex before marriage, he broke up with her after two months. He told me he tried dating apps and going out but that now he's no longer searching.
He also told me he wants kids, I'm already 39 and have a 7 years boy, but I didn't tell him I don't want more. He tends to brag a bit, like telling me he's having a good situation in his country, a house, etc... That he now only is a gardener but he used to have better jobs... he also told me he booked a trip in February for XXX dollars, and asked me joking, do you come with me?....
What do you think? What should I do?
Why won’t he make a move? I can no longer wait for him to ask me out. I'm going crazy. I still date other guys, but I'm too attracted to him and can't focus completly on the other guys... I want to spend time with him, learn more and try to understand him and see where it goes. I'm badly attracted to him and I enjoy his company 😛
Thanks for helping me (sorry was long, but details matter sometimes)
NK.