Hi all. Need some advice. I am a dad of 4 and have been married to my wife for 18 years. My eldest son is actually my wife’s from a previous relationship but I have brought him up since he was almost 2. He has been a handful since his early teens and has since left home ( he is 20 now). Ever since he was 13 he has done everything in his power to make life difficult for us he even ended up being expelled from school. The amount of times I have found my wife in tears, I have actually lost count. Anyway his adult life isn’t any better, his grandparents took him in and has even started disrespecting them. This all sounds superficial but I can’t really list all the things he has done. When his mum tries to call him he just ignores her and won’t get in contact unless he wants something. For the sake of my younger kids, I have told him he is not welcome whilst he still has this selfish I don’t give a damn about anybody attitude. The problem I’m having now is my wife and I are falling out because she wants him to come round like nothing has happened and I’m objecting. She commonly says “ if I want my son round here then he can come” makes me feel like I’m a new boyfriend who hasn’t been through all the shit and heartache with her. I’m not trying to make her choose but I feel hurt that my feelings are not being taken into consideration. After all the hurt and upsetment he has caused the family I really don’t want to see him. Am I being in reasonable to ask her to meet him somewhere else or should I leave my home when he comes. I feel so unappreciated and it hurts that I’m now a second to this selfish adult son of ours?