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Relationships

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Original poster

Would you stay in this ‘ok’ relationship?

17 replies

Simplyten · 03/01/2023 23:05

I have a boyfriend of around 8 months. We get on really well most of the time that we are together. But there are some things that just doesn’t always feel enough for me-
the effort he gives doesn’t always match mine, for example I was a bit disappointed with his Christmas present for me when I put a lot of effort into picking his.
he is often grumpy, I never know why but sometimes he just is in a mood.
we have different views on some major lifestyle things.

but I do like spending time with him and we have fun. I just don’t know whether I’m better to end the relationship because the above issues really do bother me. Or maybe I’m expecting too much?

OP posts:

supercali77 · 03/01/2023 23:28

What's the reason for staying in it? 8 months in 'things that really bother you' can so easily become 8 years 'miserable'

Whatacrocof · 03/01/2023 23:30

My relationship was like this and it never improved.

minticecreamisjustok · 03/01/2023 23:44

No, it's only 8 months and you don't sound that satisfied, you have no reason to stay?
It's not like you've been married years and he's grown into a grumpy old man, this is barely out of dating, if you don't see a long term future, end it.

category12 · 04/01/2023 00:08

Surely you want more for yourself?

A guy who is grumpy and inconsistent with you now at this early stage (the honeymoon period!) will likely get worse with time (and age). You'll end up tiptoeing around his moods.

Your lifestyle goals & values are different, so you're not compatible - you need to be on the same page with these things.

He doesn't make you feel valued.

You can do better.

Bin him off and find someone who makes you feel good about yourself and who doesn't treat you to shows of ill-temper.

JustKittenAround · 04/01/2023 07:10

Solid No from me sis… you’re only 8 months in with this nonsense are you really going to push yourself into doing hard time with this punishment of a man?

You don’t accept your worth and you aren’t realizing your value. I hope you know that it is still there and is fact. Just like it’s a fact that you are wasting it all in this set up.

just go. It can be hard single but nothing is so terrible than wasting your splendor on those who cannot appreciate it.

Id curl up with my cat a 100000000000x over then go to bed next to a man who didn’t seek to please me.

real talk : 8 months isn’t anything and you need to get your self esteem in check because I’m a stranger all the way out in California and I am betting I can see more of your worth than you can.

Monty27 · 04/01/2023 07:48

He's not worth your efforts OP. Put him down to experience. You can do better and you know it.

BarrelOfOtters · 04/01/2023 07:52

This is the point you are both supposed to be making an effort, if he can’t be arsed now…..it’s not going to get better.

move on so you can both find someone more compatible. Chalk it up to experience. Doesn’t have to be angsty.

Watchkeys · 04/01/2023 07:57

Or maybe I’m expecting too much

Who decides what the correct level of expectation is?

LunaAndHerMoonDragons · 04/01/2023 09:23

I thought you were going to say you'd been together for years and have DC together. Why settle for something that's only ok after such a short time together? If it's ok after years and DC together that may be worth staying, ok at 8 months why would you stay.

MiddleOfTheNightAgain · 04/01/2023 09:25

Yes end the relationship. Afterwards you will probably feel it to be blindingly obvious, and relieved you took action.

Snoopystick · 04/01/2023 09:29

Can you have a conversation about what you’re miffed off about before you end it? There might be something behind his grumpiness that you don’t know about. If not and you’re having doubts after only 8 months then I’d end it.

Judgyjudgy · 04/01/2023 09:32

Time to move on, questioning things 8 months in is a bad sign

Ragwort · 04/01/2023 09:37

Not just after eight months!

My DH can be a little grumpy at times and we have both decided to no longer exchange gifts but after 35 years of marriage I am sure there are also things I do that annoy him!

KILM · 04/01/2023 09:44

It depends on what your long term objective is - are you happy to settle for any partner, or just an 'ok' partner, or do you want a great partner? Someone who makes you feel amazing and lines up with your values? Do you actually need a partner at all right now?

Nowthatlovehasperished · 04/01/2023 09:46

After 8 months I'd just call it a day, it's not going to get any better and is most likely to get much worse.

Put your effort and energy into yourself and finding someone better.

Kenny69 · 04/01/2023 09:51

JustKittenAround · 04/01/2023 07:10

Solid No from me sis… you’re only 8 months in with this nonsense are you really going to push yourself into doing hard time with this punishment of a man?

You don’t accept your worth and you aren’t realizing your value. I hope you know that it is still there and is fact. Just like it’s a fact that you are wasting it all in this set up.

just go. It can be hard single but nothing is so terrible than wasting your splendor on those who cannot appreciate it.

Id curl up with my cat a 100000000000x over then go to bed next to a man who didn’t seek to please me.

real talk : 8 months isn’t anything and you need to get your self esteem in check because I’m a stranger all the way out in California and I am betting I can see more of your worth than you can.

Totally agree with this, ^^

in fact in divorcing a woman who has no interest in me anymore

Herejustforthisone · 04/01/2023 10:37

Nah, bin him off. He won’t get better. Aim higher.

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