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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Original poster

Ex boyfriend

10 replies

smb2011 · 03/01/2023 19:47

Me and my ex boyfriend broke up this morning. We have a one year old together and have been together for 3 years. Anyways we got in to a big fight this morning where he called me fat said to not use our daughter as an excuse because she's one spat in my face punched a hole in my bathroom door and stole money from my house I know it's really over this time we normally go back and forth. I find it so hard and difficult to not be in contact and stay away has anyone got any advice on what to do to keep me distracted because I am absolutely done at this point.

OP posts:

Jaybird43 · 03/01/2023 19:53

OP, you need to prioritise your DD and not look back. Seek support from your friends and family - please do not go back to him. You need to be strong and put your DD first. You are the adult here and she needs you to provide for and protect her.

supercali77 · 03/01/2023 19:57

Id be tempted to call the police and lodge it. Whether you press charges or not I think you should have it on file, if he ever wants to push for contact with your DC you want evidence that he's dangerous. Change the locks. Do not let him back into the house. Imagine if your best friend was telling you this...how angry would you be? Tap into it and find some righteous anger.

Shauna27 · 04/01/2023 00:48

He spat in your face, that tells you how little he respects you. Punching holes in doors is just one step away from hitting you. You need to leave him and stop all contact with him. You know you don't deserve to be treated this way. If you can't leave him for yourself, then leave him for your child's sake.

Fraaahnces · 04/01/2023 01:11

Definitely call the police. Arsehole. Do you want your child growing up with someone behaving like that 50/50?

category12 · 04/01/2023 07:21

Well done on splitting with him.

Keep strong by recognising that him smashing things up and verbally abusing you is in fact domestic abuse, and harmful to you and your baby. It isn't normal or OK.

XmasElf10 · 04/01/2023 07:30

Some good music / podcasts. When you start thinking of him out those on loudly to distract you.

GracePooleslaugh · 04/01/2023 07:38

Find your anger. He spat in your face. There's no coming back from that, it's utter contempt

Watchkeys · 04/01/2023 10:17

What is it that he does for you that you need distracting from thinking about?

piedbeauty · 04/01/2023 10:39

If you normally 'go back and forth'. do you mean you argue and split up often? That's not a sign of a good, healthy relationship.

What do you miss about him? It sounds as if your life would better and happier without him.

Ring a friend for support. Reassure yourself that you are strong, you can parent your dc by yourself, and your dc will be much better away from all the chaos that your ex brought.

You might find it helpful to do the Freedom Programme too.

EssexDad86 · 04/01/2023 11:01

block number and get on LoveHoney 😂

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