Breaking up how can I sell the house

[passionfruit3]

I'm splitting up with my partner (not married, two kids and a home though)
He's saying that he will move out but he's not selling the house and that I'll stay here with the kids. I'm keen on selling, I won't be able to afford the house on my own, it's a 4 bed new build and I don't need such a big space. But he's saying no he's moving out and I will stay here and that it's his terms (he's been really abusive over the years) anyways that's besides the point.
How can I actually get him to sell the house, what are the steps
Thanks !

You need legal advice.

Well, he can’t force you to stay there. If I were you, I’d get legal advice.

What's the deal with the deeds on the house / names on the mortgage?

Both names on the mortgage

Legal advice but this is the overview
england.shelter.org.uk/professional_resources/legal/debt/charging_orders_and_orders_for_sale/orders_for_sale

Get legal advice. But I think there is an implied trust for sale in these circumstances ( there used to be but it's possible law may have changed), which means in the event of disagreement, you can force a sale.
If you can avoid court proceedings though, it would be better all round.
I'd get him out, then review your position. It may well be that after a few years he will want to release his share of the equity anyway. Is he planning to continue to pay the mortgage? Does he understand that if you don't pay it, he remains liable?

What about the deeds though? It is not the same thing. Is it joint tenants, tenants in common and if so what shares are reflected etc?

^This^
Joint names on the mortgage doesn’t necessarily mean both names on the deeds.

Legal advice is essential.

Regarding the 'who lives where' scenario; If there is reasonable equity in the house, perhaps he could he afford to buy you out?
Then he could stay in the house whilst you have the funds to move on/ hopefully enough for a decent deposit?

Thanks guys, getting really stressed with everything.
Both names on mortgage and title deeds, everything 50/50 for us.
It's difficult because I know how he twists things and makes it look like I'm kicking him out and I keep the house, I don't even care to keep the house. It's beautiful but I've felt nothing but intimidated and upset here. I'd love my own place where I can make my own life.
I know he says he will move out but he will still have stuff here, he still owns this place, I don't want that I don't want him hanging over me.

I think I will have to see a solicitor

Sounds like he's saying this to still have some control??

Oh completely. He wants to still be able to come and go as he pleases, or wants time and space apart before knowing 100% that it's over

You and the DC move out and leave him in it!

How much equity is there in the house?

Sometimes walking away is better.

Good luck OP. I agree get a solicitor. You may need to get an order for sale via the courts. Get a solicitor specialised in TOLATA.

But he's saying no he's moving out and I will stay here and that it's his terms (he's been really abusive over the years)
😂😂😂
Billy Big Balls doesn't get to call the shots here.
If one of you wants to sell - you sell. Law's on your side.

anyways that's besides the point.
It's absolutely the point.
This is him, still abusing you. This is an act of control. He no longer gets to order you about like this.

Why do you think he wants this scenario? Does he imagine he will still be able to march into the ex-marital home once he's moved out? It all sounds very bad news, like he is manipulating you into staying enmeshed with him.

Yes, see a solicitor but also start contacting estate agents.
You are allowed to, it's (50%) your house.

You might want to start getting copies of ALL vital info, DC's birth certs & passports, all mortgage & deed paperwork, & any copies of his payslips or P60's (for future CMS claim). Once you find a solicitor, ask them to keep them safe for you.