Former best friend

[teaandtoastwithmarmite]

I have posted about this before but it's starting to weigh on my mind a bit. My best friend started being horrible towards me after lockdown and in the run up to my wedding. Blaming me for lockdown, Covid etc. She sent me a voice message a few months back saying she hasn't fallen out with me but why should she be interested in my life when im not interested in things that are important to her. Whenever she sent me anti vax or Covid stuff I tried to ask her about herself or her dd or anything really. I tried watching the videos but they were crazy. Anyway she blatantly ignores me on fb but will like posts from other friends. She only posts stuff about Covid, animals or shares nail stuff from her friend who does it as a business. I think she's trying to provoke me into an argument or mauve she just hates me even though I've been nothing but a good friend to her. DH said if I unfriend her that's giving her something like attention. Wwyd?

I would just block her on everything and not engage. It's ok to grow apart and she's just looking for an argument.

You keep asking
Why me?

The answer is a simple one: You are the only one still putting up with it!

Your views don't align.
Have a social media break, tell her you are having a digital detox and spend some time assessing why you are still allowing such negativity into your life. I have friends of many decades too, I understand it is not easy to let go, but you could mute her indefinitely, leave her on the backburner and see if in time she comes back with a renewed life view/changes back to someone you recognise. I wouldn't bank on it though.

I wouldn't be putting up with this op. 40 yrs or not. Put a stop to it.

She's not a friend definitely move on. 40 years is a long time but when it comes to friendships it means nothing. You can know someone a lot shorter than that and mean so much more x

She does not like you any more
So forget her

Is this the first time someone has been mean to you OP? Friendships ending can feel like a break up of a romantic relationship. You need to stop looking. You need to get out of her head and into your own, like what sort of friendships would you like? How can you meet similar people who share your views etc. It seems like you're struggling to accept the reality of the relationship you had and it hurts to come to terms with realising we don't mean as much to someone as they mean to us. It's not about you not being worthy of friendship, it's about her not being able to offer it for her own reasons. Friendship only works if two adults are mature, not just one of them.

Friendship seems to have run its course. Block and move on.

I think it's all that antivaxxer Covid/conspiracy stuff, it's so mean spirited and ranty and very much "if you're not with us, you're against us". It makes people frightened and unhappy and they start to feel the whole world is like that. Those videos suck people in and keep them watching by being so ultra focused on the dangers all around that "sheeple" can't and won't see. It makes them paranoid.

And unhappy people are mean and unpleasant to be around, especially if they suspect your values might be different and belong to the Bad side.

Hi all thanks for your comments. Really appreciate them. I've just been trying to have a think about things. When I look back she was becoming more bitchy and argumentative and I was thinking about distancing myself a bit anyway. Maybe she pushed me away before I could. She actually said to me everyone I've been a bridesmaid for no longer speaks to me and I said well that won't happen @CherrySocks yes I do. She knew my DH before me and was talking about him a lot at the time. She is happy with someone else and a dd but that's in the back of my mind. When I told her I wanted to get pregnant we fell out as she had a massive go at me as I had a loan saying I was irresponsible. I have endo and time wasnt on my side so she was very unreasonable doing that. @YouOKHun I'm sorry for what you've been through. I lost my dad and she kept banging on about if my mum passed away as well and I hadn't seen her I'd feel awful (my dad was in a care home and I wasn't allowed to see him). As for the wedding DH's sisters and brothers girlfriend kept telling me to bin her out of it but I didn't so u should have listened to them. She even went home halfway through to get her dd having a nap. She was 3 and wouldn't have needed one.
I have had people be mean to me before but this has hurt more than anything else. She has been an awful friend though and I think I feel stupid for putting up with it so long. She is angry and makes me feel uncomfortable with things she says saying her dd has been a dick or a twat etc. thanks everyone I have some clarity now

This is exactly what I said to DH. I'm flattered she thinks I have that much power 🤣

She wants to focus her friendships on people who have similar views to her which is fair enough, or maybe even people who don't share her views per se, but might be curious and validating.

Plenty of healthcare professionals and people generally regarded as sensible adults have been against the vaccine, she's entitled to her views as are you but perhaps she has found you ignorant and blinkered and has decided enoughs enough. After all, she has wanted you to critique and really assess what is going on, whilst it's no interest of yours, she's kinda been doing it from a place of love and protection.