Should I let this friendship go?

[Milly899]

Met a friend at work nine years ago, we were quite close and then when I left that job seven years ago we stayed in contact. She came to my hen do and wedding, and we contributed to be friends and then she just became really quiet afterwards. I made the effort to message her but unless I messaged her I never heard from her, and when I did message her she didn’t reply for days or even weeks. I did pull her up on it and asked why I didn’t hear from her but she said she’s just bad at messaging.

She then got engaged, and invited me to her wedding. Then covid cancelled it a couple of times and she moved the venue to a smaller one and she messaged me to say I wasn’t invited to the whole day anymore and that she’s sorry lol. Then people dropped out and I was invited to the whole day again…made me feel very special to say the least but I went anyway. This was over a year and a half ago.

I’ve seen her once since a month after her wedding, when I told her I had a miscarriage. Since then I’ve not heard from her and I’ve stopped being the one to initiate contact, and since then I’ve got pregnant again and my baby is now 7 months. She follows me on Instagram so she knows I’ve had a baby ans she sees me Instagram stories etc and has liked one or two of my posts but I’ve not had one message from her.

I’m feeling hurt by her tbh and I don’t want her to see my life if she’s not even going to message me or make contact. Should I just remove her?

This just sounds like a fairly common situation where a friendship doesn't survive the loss of a joint workplace, and where people's lives drift apart over time. I'm not sure I'd feel that aggrieved about it, or bother to remove her from my social media (if I used them) -- it's hardly a privilege for see someone's Instagram in most cases, surely? But your call, obviously. But maybe try to see it as a situation of natural drifting apart, rather than anything she's done wrong.

You’ve left the job you had in common, this is very typical, I find. Let it go, don’t be hurt, it’s just normal life.

Disagree with previous posters - a close friend is a close friend regardless of where you met. I can relate to your situation, it really hurts. I had two similar people in my life, although they were from school. One suffers with MH problems so I put it down to that - I'm still invested in the friendship and although it hurts I've got used to the low contact. The other one I don't know of any excuse for being rubbish, so I've hidden him on social media and privately consider the relationship over.

I'd say don't do anything that will be evident to her - ie hide her rather than unfollowong, don't send angry messages. You'll just regret it.

Let it go

The only thing you had in common was work