3 YEAR OLD SON DOESN'T LIKE MY PARTNER

[Chantelle2019]

Hey guys, I'm just looking for some advice. My 3 year old son really dislikes my new partner. My son will simply not engage with him what so ever. If my partner tries to interact with my son my son will shrug him off or will cry for me. Since getting with my new partner my son has become a lot more clingy with me then usual so I'm just wondering if my son is experiencing a little bit of jealousy? Any advice on what to do or what could be going on would be great!

What sort of times do they spend together? How long have you and dp been together?

Do they need to even spend any time together?

give it time and don’t push it. How long has it been? Don’t keep the contact too long at first, just small sessions of them being together and try and do some fun activities but don’t force any physical contact between them if he’s not happy with that. He will come around as he’s so young

How long have you been with your partner and how long is it since he was introduced to your son?

Don't push it.
Don't ignore your child's discomfort.
Don't push an adult on them. It's not ok.

@Zanatdy thanks for a your reply. It has only been four months. My partner is a full time dad so when we do spend time together he has his child there who my son loves. It's just my partner he doesn't seem to like. I have known this person a very long time as he is a family friend and he is an incredible man but I dont want my child to feel like this. I am just stuck on what to do as like I said this man is incredible someone I can picture spending the rest of my life with.

If he is a family friend, did your ds spend time around him before you got together?

I think just dial it back. See each other on dates, book childcare etc.

I’d say just don’t push it and don’t stress. He’s so young that he will adapt. Lots of change for him, take it slowly

That's good. Then you have lots of time to take it slowly and gradually let your son get to know him at a pace that isn't scary for him.

Is this man staying over and there in the morning? I think it’s too soon for your son to adjust if that’s the case.

Is your son old and articulate enough to say why he doesn't like your partner? It's unusual for children to be irrational in their attitudes to people. Is your son's dad in the picture at all? Could he have said something to your son about your partner that might have caused such a reaction?

this man is incredible someone I can picture spending the rest of my life with.

Then take it slowly; keep your 3 yo separate from your relationship.

I appreciate he is a family friend so will have met before you started dating but 4 months is too soon to be presenting this guy in 'partner' mode.

Why on earth would he even be meeting your son after 4 MONTHS?!

Madness.

Honestly 4 months is nothing. Don't try to force interaction. Just be patient and let it develop naturally. It probably wouldn't matter who it was, any male brought into your immediate family unit is going to alter the dynamic. It was just you and DS before. Now it isn't.

My kids both really didn’t like their uncles at that age. I think it’s not that abnormal a response to adult males in kids of that age. I’d take it very slowly and give your son plenty of reassurance that he is the number one priority for you.