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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Drunken Kiss Embarrassed

19 replies

Dave10 · 02/01/2023 17:28

Was out in club last week and met a neighbour who knew me but I had never seen before. She flirted with me and said I was good looking and kept giving me compliments. I had no interest as married. Later in night I seen her outside and she asked to share taxi. In taxi she started holding my hand, I pulled away however she took it again and interlocked her fingers and stroked my leg. As I was getting out she gave me a hug and I kissed her on lips.......she pulled away and said hey don't try to snog me. I didn't and next day didn't really think anything of it. I've since found out she's married and I keeping thinking now what if she tells people I did try to snog her. I'm hoping she is to embarrassed about hitting on me but dreading in case I meet her again as she lives local. Should I tell my wife what happened or just hope it blows over. This kiss was less then a second.

OP posts:
80s · 02/01/2023 17:51

If you tell your wife this story, she'd come to the conclusion that you did indeed try to snog your neighbour. Can you instead belatedly claim that you were very pissed on the way home and can hardly remember getting back?

Talaforniababe · 02/01/2023 17:51

I think it's a storm in a teacup and I wouldn't worry. You were both drunk and didn't consciously mean it to happen. I'd give her a wide berth if she gets 'flirty' after a few though. Don't think there's anything to tell your wife particularly.

Dave10 · 02/01/2023 21:03

Thanks. I initially thought nothing off it really but I suffer with anxiety especially after drinking and keep thinking this over and over again and thinking worst case and making it a lot worse in my head as the days go by. I'm sure well hope neighbour feels embarrassed too and I'll never have to see her or talk about it again 😀.

OP posts:
JustKittenAround · 03/01/2023 04:36

Hold up!

You have felt the need to mention how she was complimenting you! Grabbing your hand even when you didn’t want it cuz “married” but the story seems to be you let your fingers stay locked.

She has after all complimented you. Said you were good looking, and upon being asked by you shared a cab.

You state “I kissed her on the lips”

you have since found out she is married but you have known this ENTIRE TIME that YOU ARE MARRIED

You struck out. I hope this is a troll because I am just done with foolish simple minded slaps in 2023.

I made that resolution.

If you’re real, I’d very much tell the ole wifey because it’s going to get back to her. You were hardcore rejected (despite her signs of wanting you lol) and so it’s a free for all on who will know about your tragic humiliation.

PS your story makes zero sense.

  1. If she had come on to you but you were distanced because in your words “married” why would you seek her out to share a cab?
  2. why would you not rebuff her? She tried to grab your hand? Are you so slight and precious that you can’t rebuff her? Lord knows she wasn’t when she did you!!!
  3. You admit you kissed her. Your face should not have been there nor should you her.

I’ll say this, putting her down among people will only bring more eyes to your behavior. She will spill fast and hard

Best to fess up. You will look quite jilted in the end. Dumbly believing her drunken hype that means nothing and then seeking to share a cab. Holding hands and hugging to ultimately kissing and have her rebuffing you.

bad look my guy.

JustKittenAround · 03/01/2023 04:38

PS for sing out she is married … why? Who cares? Except you do? Weird that it would matter any which way.

YOU ARE MARRIED … but if you’re real you knew that.

Blastmydogintospace · 03/01/2023 07:18

So basically you are accusing her of being a pr... tease and now you're worried her husband may unleash his wrath upon you if he finds out ?

And no I doubt your wife will protect you and hide you under her pinny strings.

Don't drink as much in the future Dave.

JustKittenAround · 03/01/2023 07:39

Blastmydogintospace · 03/01/2023 07:18

So basically you are accusing her of being a pr... tease and now you're worried her husband may unleash his wrath upon you if he finds out ?

And no I doubt your wife will protect you and hide you under her pinny strings.

Don't drink as much in the future Dave.

Right?!?

bet he’s (if real) very bothered to have a neighbor in the mix… that would upset his fragile male apple cart

hed have another actual male to contend with

his wife would find out without his spin put on it

oh! She could find out after the other woman’s husband knocked his teeth in and have to process being with a looser cheater who was rebuffed and also bested by another man.

grim.

Dave10 · 03/01/2023 08:41

No I didn't seek her our she asked me and my mate to share a cab, he was in front. Why would I try snog her in front of him. Anyway as I said I thought nothing of it until I heard from him day after she was married, he said she was all over you last night and also told him she was in love with his other mate and was seekig advice from him, all this i found out after and now worried she will start saying I snogged her for the very reasons you pointed out. Ps I did pull hand away twice then she started rubbing my leg. The hug was when I was getting out of cab and she was staying on, so was my mate

OP posts:
NewYearNewSeeds · 03/01/2023 08:46

80s · 02/01/2023 17:51

If you tell your wife this story, she'd come to the conclusion that you did indeed try to snog your neighbour. Can you instead belatedly claim that you were very pissed on the way home and can hardly remember getting back?

Yeah, pile all the blame for this on the other woman rather than take responsibility for your own actions.

Poor drunk OP, taken advantage of by this predatory woman who goes around finding people far too drunk to consent to a grope and a kiss.

In some ways, they deserve sympathy and a nice cup of tea rather than the awkwardness of having to face what they've done.

Xrays · 03/01/2023 08:53

If my dh was being complimented by someone who was clearly trying to flirt with him I’d take a dim view of him sharing a taxi home with her. That would really piss me off. Let alone the rest of it. You should have declined and made your own way home.

80s · 03/01/2023 08:57

Yeah, pile all the blame for this on the other woman rather than take responsibility for your own actions.
@NewYearNewSeeds How am I piling the blame on the other woman by saying that the OP tried to snog her? 🤔

Greenlife1 · 03/01/2023 09:00

Neither of you have done anything wrong as such. A bit of a pissed up misunderstanding. Treat it as such and ignore and definitely don't share a cab with her in future. If you've lived near each other for ages then continue to do so and resume cool relations! You didn't snog her and if she says you did she's not telling the truth and you have a right to call her out on this BS. In all honesty she's very unlikely to incriminate herself and I doubt she will remember or want to remember. Sounds to me you had been fending her off and you kissed her as almost a reflect to her hug. I also don't want to demonise this woman, bit flirty, perhaps she's in a bad place.
Don't let anxiety win. You got this.

Dave10 · 03/01/2023 09:09

ThanksGreenlife1. Yes nothing happened and I have no issue with her or annoyed with her. As I said I thought nothing of it the next day but then started thinking what if she said I did etc...anxiety eh.

PS for everyone saying I waited for taxi there was 3 of us in the taxi and she asked us to share it as going same way.

OP posts:
Greenlife1 · 03/01/2023 09:20

Honestly don't give it another thought. If you see her about your area a polite Hi is enough- if she acknowledges you. Nothing happened so act as such. If she at any point infers otherwise call her out on it but I think this is sooo unlikely. She'll be giving you a wide birth, believe me. Happy new year!

JustKittenAround · 03/01/2023 09:31

@Greenlife1 oh sure.. nothing went on

bet the husband of the woman he admitted to kissing won’t think so… telling you OP has precious hours before this comes out… him chasing her to cab and putting the moves on her will be headline news.

his little lacy doilies harshly rejected murmurs will not be noticed over the growl that he is fearing.

he’s not even worried about his own foibles and the EPIC embarrassment of being turned down. Lord, not even a murmur for his own wife feelings.

he better trust and believe this husband will find out. Come at me a year from now and tell me I’m wrong.

Shoxfordian · 03/01/2023 09:33

@Greenlife1
Yeah they’ve both cheated on their husbands and wives so I would say they’ve done something wrong. I wouldn’t necessarily say you should tell your wife op but you kissed another woman. It’s not ok.

JustKittenAround · 03/01/2023 09:35

OP sorry you got so epically and totally rejected, tell your wife. A man who gets burnt as critically as you…. It’s going to be news.

might want to try not perking on women. You get rejected often I’d wager. Stick with your wife, lord knows she’d do better than you out and about.

GinoVino · 03/01/2023 10:15

Oh poor you Dave. Being forced to flirt, hold a woman's hand and kiss her on the lips. Pull the other one. Your poor fucking wife more like!!!!

Bookworm20 · 03/01/2023 10:45

Ah I see.

She came onto you, and you were sort of cornered into it, you poor thing.

So the obvious thing to do would be to share a taxi home together.

And of course at no point actually TELL her to stop holding your hand or touching your leg, or coming onto you.

And then, of course, on leaving the taxi the obvious thing to do with someone you were hoping would get the message you are not interested is to lean over and hug and kiss them.

And you're only worried now because SHE is married.

And yes, of course you should tell your wife.
Most wives would consider trying to kiss another woman as cheating. Put it to her gently along the lines of:

"This woman, our neighbour actually, was coming onto me, telling me how wonderful I am, so I couldn't tell her to stop in case she got upset.

So she carried on, telling me how good looking I am and kept touching me. So again, didn't want to upset her so just played along, as you do.

So then we decided it was a good idea to share a taxi.
She kept touching me again and holding my hand.
I still didn't tell her to stop it though, because you know, I didn't want to hurt her feelings. (wasn't considering yours at the time though love, sorry).

And then when I got out, I thought the reasonable thing to do would be to
hug and kiss her. But only a brief kiss, and It was because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.
You know how it is.

Only I've got to tell you, because I've just found out she is married!! So you might end up finding out from someone else.

Good luck with that then OP.

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